Do We Live For Our Parents, Or Do We Live For Ourselves

sometimes, when making decisions in ur life, there are certain things we would consider such as, what's in it for me...other times we'd consider about what our parents reactions would be.. for my case, it has always been the latter.. almost all major decisions in my life (dat usually define what my course of life would be) were made based on what my parents would say, rather on what i desire..so i have always been the kind of person who lives for my parents.. ask me this a few months or even weeks ago, n i'll say in some ways, i hoped i could change that.. but something that my mum said yesterday, kinda hit me hard.. you see, tomorrow mark my parents' 28th anniversary (ke 27th??).. but it's also the 15th year my atok passed away.. n we were talking about this and how he was in the police force, when my mum said "mama xpuas berkhidmat utk atok".. at first i thought she was talking about police work, but then i realized she was talking about something else.. i might be biased here, but i truly think she's the best role model ever, especially as a daughter and i'll be honour if i could end up being just even half of her as how she is to opah.. i realised the words she said has deeper meaning, cuz the one thing that we lack now is time.. if only we had more time together, how great would that be... i could picture her taking atok for umrah as well, just how she did for opah, nek usu n she paid for toksu din.. i could imagine how she'll visit them weekly, without fail, or even calling them if she couldn't make it.. yes, i do realise what she mean.. she hasn't feel like she's done enough to give back all the great things her parents has done for her.. all the sacrifices they've been through to raise her well n mold her as the woman she's become today.. she is lucky though to still have my opah and do what she's meant to do twice as much..

and for that simple sentence, i wouldn't mind living for my parents.. cuz really, what else is there to live for anyway?

i dedicate this post to Abdul Majid, our lovely bapak and atok.. we would've love it if you could be here with us today.. we all miss u very much.. u left too soon..