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Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Year In Review: 2013

This was one eventful year.. my baby sister got married.. my two best friends delivered two healthy babies.. and we ended the year with a great bbq session.. so as i sit here reading of what the years before have brought, i'm thinking of what this year has been like and what 2014 will bring.. sure, everyone starts the year with this huge positive attitude and might slumber as they go on.. but i have a feeling that 2014 will be great.. but before we dwell on that (which should be in a different post), lets reflect what this year has brought us... and again, not in any particular sequence...

how can i ever forget the first real family vacation ever (and overseas, mind you) that we had in probably years.. we went to Perth Australia, and had such a good time just being with each other, the five of us... 

I'll have to repeat, my sister's wedding was also among the highlight of the year.. from the preparations, to the day itself.. now it feels likeit happened so long ago but actually was just a month..

babies cuteness.. yup, i adore those two babies so much.. although i've only met ameena (and should be visiting more often actually), i can't wait to meet addam.. and hopefully by the time i see them, i'll have the 'courage' to cuddle them hehehehe

Yes!!! I've finally paid off my car loan.. you might as well say that i've got an 'increament' hehehe but must save for new zealand.. it doesn't help that the currency keeps increasing by the second huhuhuhu

shaytober 90% success.. and i'll think of something to do for this year which should be around that mindset.. plus, i ordered a shaytard calendar and it was signed!!! Woot woot!!

Other than that i managed to hang out with my friends more last year and went to USS weehooo.. had so much fun with them.. next time hanging out with them will be so different, seeing that they're parents now..

Well i guess that's all i could think of.. kinda lazy to recall too actually... anyway, have a great year ahead.. it's almost the end of the year, and i still need to sort out my goals/plan for this year.. lookibg forward to our next family vacation.. hugs

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Interlude Before the Wedding Post

Iklan jap.. after this hopefully i'll have some post of my baby's wedding.. but before that i want to ramble a little bit.. as i may have mentioned before, i dislike unwanted visitors (or in this case readers).. sometimes i don't think about it and care.. but other times it's somewhat annoying to me.. off course you'll think that the easiest and most logical thing to do is to change the setting to private right? well, although i don't have that much readers (kire gune sebelah tgn pon cukup), the people i do know read my blog don't have an account.. and agak leceh to ask them to sign in and what not so i'm leaving it public.. not that i expect people to read but that's just the way it is..  but then there are also people that i prefer not to read this blog just cuz i don't ok.. it doesn't help that i get ask questions about things that other people shouldn't have known (cuz lets face it, i'm not much of a talker).. or even get a random text that makes me go, "what the fuck are you getting at?!?" rimas ok.. get the hint already.. i'm ignoring you for a reason.. 

malas nk type dah.. wanna continue my Sherlock Holmes before the year ends huhuhuh bye

Monday, December 09, 2013

I Can Hear The Bells

It has been awhile indeed.. updates? Well Shaytober was a better month for me.. started out motivated and vetted through but towards the end, I did fall off the wagon.. and then came Brovember and that was horrible.. I didn’t go into the month with the right mindset.. and now it’s already December, and I’m slowing down a little bit.. Shikin had a beautiful baby girl.. Jue is due in a couple of days.. super excited for that.. went to visit kin with my sisters the other day but didn’t stayed that long.. as my fear of holding newborns still remain, I didn’t cradle baby ameena.. We’ll give it a few months when she’s stronger and I stop being a loser ok.. the kitchen is done and I have my island woot woot.. I haven’t started cooking though but I have a few things in mind.. I’ve managed to catch up on HIMYM.. now I get why Mohsin like it so much.. now in their final season so will need more series to follow.. although by then, GOT will be back yeayy DRACARYS!! Hehehe.. On a side note, Paul Walker passed away.. although I’m not as gutted by the news as I was when I heard about Cory, but it’s still sad.. wasn’t a huge fan of the Fast n Furious but did managed to watch most of them.. people keep saying how ironic it is that he died in a car crash.. just wondering how the 7th film will be like.. must be really hard for his family seeing him in a speeding car on the big screen..

Anyway, with all that aside, lets talk about something else.. well, my baby sister is getting hitched in a few weeks!! 2 weeks to be exact.. it’s bittersweet but I wish her all the happiness in the world.. not sure if I’ll post pics from the big day cuz c’mon, I’m that lazy to blog now.. in terms of preparation, huge salute to my mum.. I’ve been slacking a lot with helping her.. I think I only managed to do some door gift which didn’t even add up to a quarter of the amount.. my stubborn head sometimes think that my sister should do more and be more proactive with planning her own wedding instead of leaving my parents with most of the work.. booking dewan was done by my parents.. although she did find the pelamin and all but my mum did the bookings.. caterer pon my parents went to meet them up n booking.. izad? Hmmm mcm xde buat bende je.. can’t imagine how Jue managed to do everything by herself.. it takes lots of thinking and effort on her side.. come to think about it, I wished I did play a role on helping her huhuhu I guess I’ll just redeem by supporting her through her pregnancy and being a new mom (xsabar nk tgk baby baru nnt)..

Now what’s left is the barang2 hantaran and putting the goodies in the goody bags.. perhaps the later will be done within the week of the wedding itself.. so might be a tight week for us.. planning a wedding ain’t easy, especially one that’s decided kinda last minute =b note to self, get the checklist from Jue next time hehehe I hope everything goes smoothly on that day and the days approaching it.. praying that my loved ones will be healthy and able to make it.. had a couple of deaths in the extended family these couple of months.. and reading an article that quotes Paul Walker’s dad, it rings true to me.. “I’m just glad that everytime I saw him, I told him that I loved him. and he would say the same thing to me”.. sometimes we think too much about the last goodbyes, about the last moment we spent with the departed, or the last thing we spoke of with the departed (thinking about the episodes when Marshall loses his dad) but really, when the person goes, what u want is the person to know that u love them and u know that they love you... right?

Ok la no mushy2.. anyway, don’t know what more to write.. will do my best to update pics of the big day.. all the best izad.. I love u so much.. even though it is kinda sad that u’ll be ‘leaving’ us, but I’m so happy for you.. our family will grow not just bigger but hopefully stronger.. Although our parents marriage wasn’t all fairy tales, but things have gotten so much better and you know it.. I can just pray that ur marriage will be blessed by Allah and may u have all the happiness there is in this world and hereafter.. I’ll love ur kids and spoil them (if I don’t have mine yet).. and no matter what, u will always be by baby sister.. big hugs.. muahh muahh.. (no mushy2 la bodoh) byeee

Monday, November 04, 2013

The End of Shaytober

So how do i fare? well, this is one is kinda hard to judge.. for one, i didn't workout as much as i had hoped for (duhhh) but then on the other hand, i did take the stairs to work from 1st floor to the 26th for 3 days.. and with each time, i did make some progress.. not sure whether it's the water or what tho.. i did once or twice took it from the 14th floor so it's like half way only.. other than that, nada, no workout for me.. but then consumption wise, i did manage to be aware of the food that i take.. no sugar day for me although i did have my cheat days and towards the end, i didn't do so good (boo hoo).. thanks to no kitchen, we ate lots and lots of salads.. started with a sorta obsession with ceaser salad, and then thousand island cuz it'll always be my all time favorite dressing..

i didn't write out my goals here but overall, i didn't complete them all (i did one though).. but the progress i did to achieve them was better as compared to previous attempts.. i wanted to better myself physically and spiritually and i think i'm taking the right steps towards them.. so now i just have to keep the momentum going.. tomorrow is awal muharram, and it's always more motivating to start fresh on a new year, so that's what i'm going to do.. goals will be carried forward with perhaps minor changes.. shay wanted to call it Brovember but i don't like the name so we're naming it Shayvember or Shavember? hahaha ok xdelah cantek mane...

so lets do this again? weehoooo

p/s: one of my best friend just had a baby... congratulations and alhamdulillah for having a safe delivery and a healthy baby.. be warned, i might spoil her  =b  next is jue's turn.. praying for the best  *hugs*

Thursday, October 17, 2013

I was born for Broadway, baby

I hate being in the center of attention... i'm ok if it's with my family or closest friends . but not really for others... yes, i'm that bias.. 2 good gestures this year but both made me feel like a horrible person for not appreciating it.. benci k.. no means no but i guess some ppl don't get the hint.. *sigh*

anyway, on another note, how does a loner spend her birthday? nothing different than other day, cuz really, there's nothing special about it.. i'll be 27 for 365 days, no biggie la... but i did however used it as an excuse to pamper myself.. what did i do? i went to watch hairspray Musical Live!!! woot woot!!!! although my bday is in Oct, but i had an early bday present for myself and went to watch the show in Sept..

ticket for one please  =b

yes, as a loner i went and watched the show alone.. i asked the obvious if they wanna go see but they all decline.. the next obvious person to ask was Mohsin but i was kinda broke so after giving it some thought (and although i have a strong feeling that he won't mind paying it himself), i decided to have some me time.. it did felt a little awkward but that awkwardness disappeared once the show started..

i didn't get much pics cuz it was kinda hard to... how was the show? superbly awesome!! it would've been more perfect if i got seats that were closer to the stage, but then those tickets cost a fortune.. i love all the songs and enjoyed every second of it, except the part when Link Larkin sang.. Zac Efron sounded much more lovely than he did.. Penny's one liners were laughable even with having the same script as the movie.. the woman who was Amber's mom was amazing, her vocals just hit it there.. i'm no vocalist expert but i dare to say that she was pitch perfect...

thinking about it just makes me want to do broadway.. i love singing and dancing and theater actors don't usually get the fame that comes along with movie star.. just my cup of tea.. i remember seeing Starlight Express as a young kid way back in London, and i definitely fell in love with it.. i remember thinking how awesome it was for them to actually race in the theater hall on their rolling blade.. if ever they were to have a show here, i'd definitely go again.. i'd go alone too if i had to... Grease on the other hand was a little downer experience.. the whole family went but we sat at the upper tier so sound system and effect wise was very minimum... would love to go to another show if they'd have one again.. 

Alas, what i can do now is just day dream about it cuz let's face it, being a broadway star is something i definitely won't be hehehehe till next time.. bye...


Sometimes you set goals to better yourself.. when you're me, you'll know that following through you're goals are very challenging especially when it's always the same goal... and when you're me, you'll know that setting goals usually ends in failure..  yet, i keep doing them.. Shaytober is no different with Shaytember or any other new year resolution i used to have.. yet, going through it, it did feel different.. for once, i really did do what i set my mind to.. although not completely, but i am happy with what i did so far.. and the one thing i had control over is the consumption of my food.. thinking about this in my head, i understand a little bit more about bulimia, anorexia or the opposite of it, obesity.. in short, i think i'm one step closer to understand how people have food disorder.. it is really the one thing that seems easy enough to take control of.. 

but having said that, and not being in denial or anything, i don't think i have a food disorder.. yes, i used to eat what i want, but i'll stop whenever i'm stuffed.. and now, although i pick and choose what i eat, it's a step for me to be healthy and eat healthy.. so when i had an 'excuse' to better myself (which is participating in Shaytober), this time, i did my best to set realistic goals and follow through them.. i won't list them out here, it's already depressing enough to read my previous goals.. but i have it all in my head.. i knew October would be a challenging month given the circumstances, but i had a plan in my head, compromising with myself, give and take.. 

I knew it wouldn't be easy, nothing really is.. so i don't strict myself too much.. i have my cheat days.. weekends.. two days a week should definitely be enough to devour my cravings right? off course it is.. just look at the first weekend itself.. but i try not to be so hard on myself because i decided to have those cheat days.. i decided how much is enough.. i won't consume and cover what i had deny myself of.. because then, what's the point of it right.. so i did felt empowered (in some way) about this.. 

but then it happened... i caved in... not to my temptations but to others' request.. and that one minor decision i made, to care about others more than my own principles, was a major downer.. all those resisting, restricting myself and saying no, feeling a sense of accomplishment and proud, somehow it all just evaporated... it was nothing really.. very petty to compare.. and yet it had a huge impact on things.. how fragile can these feelings be.. i shouldn't over think this actually, but it kind of summarizes things.. even though i did my best, the conclusion will still be that i failed.. and that's just the thing that's bothering me.. not doing things on my terms but on others instead... even if i did the 300 challenge workout, i will always be haunted by that one bite.. and that's how negativity works.. even the slightest little negativity.. it just shoves all the positive thing you build up aside and make them seem worthless.. 

and that, my friend, is what i call weakness...

Monday, October 14, 2013

Skohns Canteen

Yes, i'm going through the pics in my phone and just writing short entries of places we ate.. since we started our kitchen renovation, i guess u can pretty much say we eat out a lot.. one day we were thinking of where else to have dinner, and mama suggested this place at Damansara Perdana.. yes, since mama rajin browse2 fb die, byk gak tpt she found out and suggested to go.. Cupcake Chapters and The Little Gerai for example (and sumer pon jenis makanan yg same kan hehehe) so that day we drove to Damansara Perdana and round2 sket to look for the place.. as usual, papa xjoin for dinner sbb "i'm ok je..." hehehe nothing to story2 just some pics i want to dispose of...

we ordered mushroom soup.. which was yummy.. previously only pizza hut nye mushroom sedap, tp tu style ala2 campbell.. now i'm liking these sorta wild mushroom soup.. sedapp...

we also ordered garlic bread...

it's still #Shaytober boohoo... i thought of having some salad tp xde serve la plak..  instead i ordered this jack potato with chilli n cheese.. time order tu i was thinking of gooey cheese mcm kenny rogers tu.. tp ni just mcm pizza je.. nevertheless, sedap gak la.. just one comment, perhaps they should put this under main course or something cuz it's kinda heavy to be a side dish...

then yaya n izad had lamb chop.. one pic je sbb same kan, just sauce je lain..

mama had steak..  i only had one bite n xingat sgt the taste.. but pinggan mama licin, so sedap la kan hehehehe

they also had some pastry tp lupe amek pic... xingat total baper, recipt pon xtau gi mane hehehe but again, another low point for this place, cash only.. xperasan la mmg usually these restaurants are cash only ke ape, but lately mmg cepat pokai and i don't have enough cash on me.. anyway, if u wanna try this place out, here's the address: 

Skohns Canteen,
G-13, Perdana The Place, Jalan PJU 8/5G, Damansara Perdana.

Saturday, October 12, 2013

Serai @ Paradigm Mall

xpayah la nak review this place sgt kan... kinda well known already plus eating for 3 pax, don't have that much pics to share anyway... but a few weeks ago, mama, yaya and i decided to have lunch outside.. susah sgt nk fikir a place to eat even though we kept telling ourselves to make a list of places to eat.. we didn't want to go very far, so decided to go to Paradigm Mall.. my first time there... aduhh boleh sesat la plak skejap kat dlm tu sbb xjumpe Serai.. apparently it was at the opposite building.. bagus la tu kan.. we almost gave up but then there was no other place tempting enough to go.. again, malas nk tulis panjang2, but this is what we had..

i had the Serai Platter.. so fulling and definitely not #Shaytober material.. luckily i haven't started then hehehehe

yaya had this chicken pramagiana...

mama had cantonese fried kuey teow i think (xingat sgt, tp sedap gak)

then all 3 of us drool over this kid dish, spaghetti chicken mushroom... sedap gler yummmm

for dessert, pavlova la since this is kinda like it's signature desert... mmg sedap cuz it's not too sweet so blh mkn byk... i think so far, Alexis n Serai has the best pavlova... Alexis win on the amount of toppings heheheh

after this, gonna have a desert session with yaya hehehe ngidam la plak... if i list down all the things sy ngidam nk mkn skrang, i'm not sure how long it'll take hehehe  anyway, till next time.. bye...

Friday, October 11, 2013

Happy Birthday Papa

Ok, so this post will be short cuz basically, i'm not really in the mood to write hehehe Last saturday was my dad's birthday.. he's 62 years old and insyaAllah panjang umur.. so naturally, we celebrate by eating out.. we're currently in the process of renovating our kitchen and since there were workers at the house, we had to wait till their done.. so we decided to have dinner to celebrate.. had some things to do that morning then went to klcc for brunch.. since it's #Shaytober, i had 'salad' for brunch.. i'm loving the salad bar that isetan supermarket have.. although the ones i had that day, had some cheese in it so not really 100% healthy hehehe

 this is broccoli mixed with mac and cheese.. super yummy 

 sautéed vegies.. yummmm

and since i'm doing "no sugar' on weekdays, i kinda treated myself to a mini milkshake =b

after that we got home and rest.. then we got ready for dinner.. our place of choice? Here i.e. Cupcake Chapters at Ukay Boulevard.. Papa didn't join us the last time we were there.. and since the food wasn't bad, we decided to take him there.. the place was kinda empty the moment we arrived, but got full soon.. not much to cite2 here, we just ate and sembang.. normal family dinner.. i had the same thing i did the last time we were there.. sedap oooo mashed potato tu pon sedap gak.. just kurang vegie je utk side dish die.. and also bummer mushroom soup habis *sob sob*.. anyway just some pics to share to add on from my previous review..

i forgot what this was called.. but yaya and izad had something similar..

 this is the giant burger papa had.. doesn't look big but the patty itself was thick...

mama had this lamb chop..

we shared this desert since everyone was full.. too sweet for my liking..

the birthday boy.. Happy Birthday Papa.. we love u so much

apparently i was too hungry to snap a pic of my own food, but i had the same thing i did the last time we came.. don't remember the total for that day, but what i remember was the down point to this place.. cash only huhuhu imagine the horror on my face when i found out about it and had no cash on me.. terpaksa buat muke xmalu kat mama, pinjam duit sket.. luckily though yaya had some.. so Cupcake Chapters, pls get one of those swipe2 thing for credit cards.. even though the place is not pricey, not everyone have enough cash on them to pay the bill huhuhhu that is all...

Wednesday, October 09, 2013

Your Move

Game of Thrones book series

Urban Decay Smoked palette


Prince Harry

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Who cares about a title anyway

“It’s been two months and still no word, I don’t deserve this” – name that song.. 100 points if u can (without googling) and loser points if u can’t hahahaha yup it has been 2 months since I last post a thing.. Technically, my last two posts were schedule so I’d consider the last time I post something was before Ramadhan.. same excuse, I just don’t feel like writing.. loads of things to write about though, yet I can’t be bothered..

so here I am, it’s already the middle of September, just a little way to go till 2013 ends.. and then what? Another year ahead that’ll just zoom by as if it’s in a hurry.. off course I have the end of April to look forward to (the fellowships’ adventure to Mordor begins) but that’s just it.. I’ve been writing things down and scrapping them off, getting ‘ideas’ and later thinking how dumb they sound.. so basically I was just ranting, trying to make a sense out of this life.. I was thinking about how fast time pass by and how robotic it feels like being me (maybe most of us do anyway), and having this routined life that seems meaningless.. I was ranting how my weekends seems like a routine which makes Monday sucks even more (sorry Monday) and just thinking what’s the point to all of this..

then I paused and think, maybe I need to make a new routine.. where I slot in things (how little as it may seem) that means something to me, or have an impact on me, or at least something that I could be proud of.. although I have yet to figure what, but I gotta start somewhere right? (cue the sarcastic voice) *sigh* it’s just that I wonder, how do people get motivated.. I mean how do u stay positive, set a goal, and pull through it.. people talk about inspiration a lot that I feel like it’s lots it’s meaning.. but I need that.. I need to be inspired and have this new attitude towards life.. there’s only one person that comes in mind when I talk about positivity and I wonder how he does it.. does getting feedback and communicating with others really have that effect on you.. or are some people just born and raise on it.. I have this problem, and it’s huge.. it may seem petty, but it’s taking a toll on me.. I don’t want to be this person who don’t walk the talk.. yes I can think of a million things I can do with my life, be it a hobby or just random things to occupy my time.. yet throughout the years, I’m still ignorant.. I need rehab cause when I think about it, I’m addicted to being lazy (is that even a thing?)

another round of Shaytember obviously fail.. I need a program.. scratch that, I need a coach.. a coach in life, that is.. I need someone to hammer me whenever I say something but don’t commit to it.. just imagine the amount of pain I have to endure if I did have one hehehehe so new month coming soon and he has plans (of course he does).. a collaboration with hiimrawn, so let’s see what they have in store.. do I have to say that I’m in? we all know what will happen eventually right, why would this time be any different.. BAM, there it is, bad attitude already.. a show of hand how many of you are sick about reading this already? I know I am..

how about some ideas on things to write about.. the things on my list doesn’t seem too appealing.. I’ve got my raya update (dah basi hokey), the lack of tv series to follow, the debate on the 2nd amendments of gun controls (another shooting in the US, not so shocking after all) *yawns* right, just boring stuff.. want to write another poem but I always get stuck *roll eyes*.. ok malas sgt.. I need to do some early planning on things.. till next time (don’t bet on it) bye..

Wednesday, August 07, 2013

Selamat Hari Raya

Well after a month of fasting, raya is here.. as usual, i'll be going back to Selayang first and masak2 there.. too bad this year won't be complete because alang will be going to Penang this raya huhuhuh will be spending the 1st day at selayang then later in the evening, we'll drive to PD to celebrate raya there (although by that time, it's doesn't feel like raya anymore)... won't be writing much although i do have something to jot down (probably some other time right)..

so drive safely, enjoy ur time with ur family and have a good hari raya..

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Salam Ramadhan everyone.. selamat berpuasa and may this month brings u joy and bliss.. doing my best to be a better person.. on top of that, less food but more water.. u think i can reach my target of 22% body fat? coach? any thoughts? hehehe

taking a short break from blogging most probably.. see u guys soon.. love you all..

Thursday, July 04, 2013

Cupcake Chapter @ Ukay Boulevard

Last week, papa went to PD for 3 days so we decided to eat out on the 2nd night.. mama heard about this place from her friend, Cupcake Chapter kat Ukay Boulevard (name nak grand aje).. i like the place, quiet and service pon ok.. only dorg x serve appetizer dlu baru main course, tu kecamuk sket tp boleh dimaafkan hehehe sumer lapar xsedar diri sgt, org ade 4 je tp order food smp 7 hehehe 5 main course, 2 appetizers...the decoration of the place pon cantek gak.. ade teddy bear besar yg rs cm nk bawak balik jer.. anyway, short entry, just enjoy the pics k hehehe

the menu

the big bear greeting us

for appetizers, we ordered Chunky Wild Mushroom Soup.. sedap gak but ade black pepper.. tergigit huhuhuh 
RM 13.50

we also had Crispy Tortilla Chapters Style.. cheese dip ni sedap gler, tp kitorg xhabis so tapau.. 
RM 19.90

I ordered Honey and Lemon Herbed Chicken.. sedap sgt.. mashed potato die pon sedap gak.. recommended hehehe
RM 19.90

yaya had Three Mushroom Pennoni Alfredo... ni pon sedap gak.. dah 2 kali yaya order pasta yg tibe2 sedap terlebih sket.. hari tu mkn kt The Gardens pon yaya order sedap  =b mama pon sker ni.. sian yaya since hers smp 1st, ramai org cilok food die hehehhe 
RM 19.90

mama just ordered the Boston Fish and Chips... i like that the batter x thick sgt so rasa ikan and not just tepung je hehehe  x habis seketul, so tapau =b
RM 18.90

izad plak tamak.. order smp 2 main course =b alasan? kalau xhabis, blh tapau utk lunch esok.. ngeng hahahah so 1st she had the Macaroni and Cheese.. sedap but die sedih sket cheese ni x oren cm kt Kenny Rogers..
RM 19.90

and she also ordered Cajun Fried Chicken Wings.. the only thing i didn't taste that night sbb dh kenyang.. but according to izad, cajun chicken kt OU dlu2 tu lg sedap.. ni pon x habis gak so tapau..
RM 19.90

the table was full with our food and drinks.. we didn't have dessert cuz we were so full... they had a bunch of cupcakes (hence, the name of the place) and some cakes as well.. with all the food and drinks that we had, the total damage was RM 163.70, but totally worth it.. will definitely go again with papa (sure sumer dpt habis if papa join skali) and recommended too..

Monday, July 01, 2013

My Alternate Ending

Peeta Mellark

I met up with Haymitch and Katnis at her mansion for our book project. The book is coming along fine with the pictures drawn and stories told. We were writing about Finnick when Katnis let out a big sigh. I know the image of Finnick being torn by the mutt kept playing in her head. Although my mind is still blurry at time and there are still things I’m not so sure are real or not, I tried to cheer her up by retelling the story when she first met him, how he offered her sugar that was meant for horses. “I’m sure he enjoys making you laugh,” I said hoping this could lighten the situation a bit. She avoided eye contact but did manage a smile, although barely. There it is, the thing that got me going and gave me hope ever since the reaping. Her smile, getting bigger and bigger that she genuinely looked happy.

Then I realized she was looking at something. I turned to see what could possibly put that smile back on her face after all the suffering she’s been through, after all the heartache she felt ever since we came back to District 12. That’s when I saw him, walking towards us through the ashes of the bombing. You could barely see his face but judging from his height and the bow in hand, there’s no telling it could be anyone else. Of course, who else can make her smile if not the one person she truly felt happy with even before the game started? Gale. My thought flashed back to the time we were hiding in the cellar at the Capitol, inside Tigris furry underwear store. “How will she decide who to pick in the end is easy, she’ll pick the one she can never survive with”. At that time, I thought he was talking about me. Besides, wasn’t it me who helped her survive the first game? Even with my legs broken and she risked her life for me by going to the feast, but wasn’t I the one who gave her strength to keep going, just as she gave me hope? Although it was all just for the show, in the back of my mind, I knew a part of her did have feelings for me. Why else would she kiss me on the beach during that Quarter Quell? I was pretty sure that was not for the show. Not the way she kissed me and wanted more. No, that kiss was meant for me.

But now, back here in District 12, after the game had taken away not just her home, but her family and freedom, she no longer needed that dim of light, that hope to give her strength to survive. No longer did she needed that dandelion hidden beneath the dirt, barely blooming, reminding her, a sign to show that through all the bad things going on in life, there is still a way to get through it. No. what she needed was him. He was and will always be her confidant. The comfort of knowing, that when things don’t go right, he will always have her back. She needed him to survive. His hands that are strong enough for coal mining but also gentle enough to make a snare.

I turned back and caught Haymitch looking at me. “Sometimes I could be wrong,” he said as he got up and walked back to his mansion. I got up and headed towards mine, knowing I no longer have a place here. She may deny it but I know I will always remind her of the game and everything bad that happened after. I was weak enough that the Capitol was able to hijack me and made me turn my back from her. Gale on the other hand, well Gale reminds her of the normal life they had back then. Back when they went hunting together and putting food on the table. Not just for their family but for others too. Although nothing romantic happened between them then, everybody knew it was bound to happen one day. And now it did.

Gale Howthorne

Working with Beetie has helped be kept myself busy. I learned a lot of things from him, but always kept away from explosive. I never knew whether the bombs that killed Prim was one of my inventions with him, although I have a slight idea that it might be. Those little silver parachutes, giving those children hope and a moment later burning them and killing them. It was the same concept I used for my snares. I kept tab of Katnis by updates I hear through Dr. Aurelius. Although people around are talking about how much progress the Mockingjay is making ever since she assassinated President Coin, Dr Aurelius knows the truth. The loss of Prim took half her life away. And with her mother occupying herself in District 8, she has no family to go back to in District 12. Who she has though, is Peeta. I don’t really know how things are going between the two of them. I try not to think about it too much and blurred out the words whenever his name is brought up.

It was said that the coal mine in District 12 will be reopen. Beetie was asked to help invent something to prevent another cave in. With my little experience in mining, I gave ideas to Beetie on what could be helpful. They were about to test his inventions and asked me to go along. Although I do miss home, District 2 is my home now. I contemplated whether to go or not. I wasn't ready to meet Katnis again. I know she blames me for Prim’s death. And even if she doesn't  I still blame myself. I promised that I will take care of her family and yet I failed. If what I hear from Dr Aurelius is true, I might not even bump into her there. It was a long trip from District 2 to 12 so I made sure I packed everything. I was about to leave when I saw my bow in the corner. I might not have the time but I took it with me just in case.

District 12 looked different from the last time I was here. The place looks cleaner with most of the ashes and debris from the bombing cleared out. It was not back to normal but it looked better. We weren't going to start testing until tomorrow so I thought of taking a walk around town. The Hob that took the worse hit had a lot more cleaning up to do. Half of my house was gone. I walked to the gate that leads to the wood. This is where I first kissed Katnis after her game. Katnis. The thought of her makes me miss her even more. I wanted to clear my head by going hunting but that won’t help as everything about hunting reminds me of her. I decided to take my chances and go see her. She’s still living in her Victor Village mansion where Greasy Sue cooks for her. I don’t have the slightest idea whether she’ll be with Peeta but decided to go anyway.

The wind was picking up blowing away ashes and dust. As I walk I think about what I should say to her. Our last conversation together was about me telling her how I failed her and she didn’t refute it. I saw three figures sitting outside her house. With the lack of visibility from the dust, I could barely make out who it was but yet I knew. Katnis, Peeta and Haymitch, the three victors of District 12. I changed my mind and was about to turn around and walk away, hoping that they didn’t see me but it was too late. I saw her standing up and that’s when I got nervous. What if she was still mad at me? What if she never wanted to see me again? I could understand that. But then she started walking towards me. A few steps after, she began to run. We weren’t that far apart between each other, but it felt like hours until she got to me. She wrapped her arms around me and I felt relieved. I dropped my bow and hugged her tight, never wanting to let go. “You came back.”

Katnis Everdeen

Haymitch and Peeta came over to continue with our book. Although I knew the task doesn't get easier each day, today was no exception. The nightmares keep coming back. Peeta was trying hard to cheer me up as always. I wasn't in the mood, though I did manage a polite smile, but looked away. With the wind blowing dusts and ashes, it was hard to tell whether my eyes are playing tricks on me. But there it is, a figure I knew far too well to be wrong. There in his hand was a bow and I knew it was him. And just like that, all the life that left me came back. I could feel my heart beating again as if it had stopped all this while. I got up and before realizing it, my legs started to take big steps towards him. I ran what seems like forever and finally reached out to him and hug him with all my might. “You came back,” half asking, half stating. “I thought it was about time that I did,” he said and smiled. We stayed like that for a moment, holding on to each other. He walked with me back to my mansion and I saw Peeta and Haymitch no longer there.

Gale told me about his time in District 2 and also the plan of reopening the mine. It did give me flashbacks about my father but then I thought this is what District 12 is all about. We’re coal miners. I told him about the project I was working on with Peeta and Haymitch. How we would like to tell the story about the Hunger Games and honor those who help fight for our freedom. I remembered to include Madge, as she was not only our friend, but also the reason how the Mockingjay came about. Greasy Sue came out the door baring drinks for Gale. “Now that you’re here, we could use something for dinner. I managed to get some prune and thought it would be lovely if I could make some stew. A feast of somewhat to welcome you home.” the thought of going hunting with Gale again got me excited. I got inside, put on my father’s hunting jacket, got my bow and met with Gale up front.

We walked slowly to the fence heading towards the wood in silence. It felt familiar; going hunting again with him. We skimmed the woods, looking for animals to shoot. We only managed to get 2 squirrels and 3 rabbits. The woods looked a bit deserted now with the animals running deeper into the woods since the bombing. We walked towards the lake my father used to take me when I was younger, and went into the abandoned house. There are so many memories here besides those I have with my father. The two people from District 8 who ran away, seeking refuge here, Pollux asking me to sing for him. This is also the place where Gale told me he loves me, and I foolishly answered by saying I know. If we’d have run away together, just as he asked me on the day of the reaping, we could have stayed here. I look at him and saw him looking at me, as if he was having the same thought.

"Things could be different. If only I had paid more attention to what was going on and not just focus on getting revenge." I can't really blame him for what happen. He couldn't possibly know what President Coin's plan was. Gale was quiet for a moment. We knew this conversation will have no happy ending. “I guess I’ll just have to get used to it, not having my family here, and just move on. Peeta’s adjusting too especially in his condition.” I know bringing his name up doesn’t make things easier. “I just don’t want you to blame yourself for what happened. Carrying this kind of burden won’t do anyone any good.” Gale was staring outside and i know how hard this has been for him too. "I just wished that we were brave enough to run away that day. and take our family along. even if the Capitol found out we were missing, we could deal with it. It might have a different outcome, but at least we're together." I said. Gale let out a big sigh. "I hate to say this, but if we had ran away that day, the Hunger Games will still be on. We might live somewhere else but we will always be looking over our shoulders. Who knows when it will end. It seems selfish not to care about it now, but think of what that will do for the next generation. No one else will have to suffer that way. Our lives could get better" "But not without consequences" I said in a whisper. "I don't know how long this healing process that Dr Aurelius keeps talking about will take.. everything about District 12 reminds me of the bad things that have happened and each time it hurts more.. I don't think it'll ever go away." i said in frustration. "It won't. we just need to learn how to move on.. find something we love doing and distract ourselves" he said. "You mean like hunting?", I asked. "something like that.." he paused, before he continued "how did u feel just now, when we went hunting?" "It felt just how it did 2 years ago.. It felt right" and it did. when we went hunting, nothing about what happened crossed my mind. I knew things were different, that we weren't hunting for our families anymore, but it didn't hurt as much.. it was, as Gale had said, a distraction.. Gale walked towards me and I walked into his arms. The warmth of his body felt good against mine. He pulled back a bit and was a bit hesitant. I leaned to him and gently kissed him on the lips. "I love you." the first time I’ve ever admit it. "I know," he said with a smirk. "But I love you more."

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

And May The Odds Be Ever In Your Favour

I’m back in the game.. all I need is that little nudge to get my momentum going.. I consider myself a bookworm at most time, but this year I seem to get on a slow start.. I read somewhere that averagely, Malaysian reads only 2 books a year.. and by the rate I was going (up until May), I was easily about to fall into that category, although each year, I refuse to.. Not so sure why, but I think it somewhat offends me (hehh?) so when May was about to end, and I realized I haven’t read a thing, I started to pick up a book.. and as I expected, it took me awhile to be engrossed in it.. it’s not like the story line was boring, cause I knew the story will pick up and have it’s interesting twist as always (I was reading one of my Hercule Poirot series by Agatha Christie, one of my new found favorite authors), it’s just that I didn't get into the mood of reading yet.. but once I was done with that book, I decided to skip the order of books to read in my head, and opt for the Hunger Games trilogy instead.. both my sisters have completed all three books and been raving about how awesome they are.. and they’re not wrong.. cause once I started reading, it was indeed hard to put down (as always).. even though I know what happens in the end of the first book (having already seen the movie).. and unlike the Harry Porter series, I didn't want to wait till the movie comes out to know what the whole book is all about.. and BAM!! Just like that, I finished 3 books within 5 days hahahah I don’t know why that makes me happy, but hey, at least I’m no longer in the statistics above =b

Story wise, it’s an awesome book.. gory, but was not depicted as so in the movie.. of course they usually change bits here and there between book and movie, but I think there are some parts in the movie that changes some of the story a bit.. and by the look of the trailer for the 2nd movie, I could see some of the changes that the movie might have (like the dress Katnis wore to her interview which was a statement from her stylist).. out of the 3 books, I like the second one best, so let’s just hope the movie won’t be a total let down hehehehe the ending was a bit of a bummer though.. she didn't end up with the guy I want boohoo team Gale ftw!! Other than that, two thumbs up.. I laughed, I cried, I fell in love with characters, despised some even.. Everything there is in a book that makes it a good read =b

I’m trying to finish up all the books I've yet to read, or at least the main one, like my Hercule Poirot collection, Sherlock Holmes volume 1 & 2, one book I bought recently.. and when that’s done, I just might (only might) finally get my hands on the Game of Thrones series.. the tv series are awesome and although series are longer than movies, I bet there are still some parts in the book that are omitted.. so I’m very looking forward to that.. definitely on top of my list of books to read =D ok sleepy, till next time..

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Another Example to Choose Happiness

Staying positive sometimes ain't that easy as it seems.. it does require a lot of hard work and patience.. i do consider myself a patient person (most of the time anyway).. i try not to get super mad at people and when i do, i try to cool off as soon as i can.. but sometimes i just can't help it.. taking the high way (btol ke term tu?) or as Shay would say, choosing happiness is done mostly in the head.. i can talk myself out of being mad or upset in my head, but i will still feel the anger or hate.. if u look at my face, muke still bengang la, kerut2, and nafas kluar asap? huhuhuh 

so where am i getting at this? i got this from my sister yesterday, while on the way back from work..

haihh br je semlm citer bout my num plate, so imagine the horror when i found out someone scratched my car and did nothing about it.. dlm hati dh start maki hamun huhuhuh and when i reached the station and saw my car, lagi bengang k.. it was too obvious to be a subtle scratch.. mmg sial la mamat yg buat tu.. lesen beli ke ape xreti drive tukar lane  *cries* i try not to dwell on it especially when it comes to material things, but i'm just disappointed with the attitude of some ppl who are ignorant and stupid enough to do something like this without feeling a bit remorse (or show it).. dh scratch my car pon scratch la, i don't expect u to pay pon.. but at least have the courtesy to get out of ur stupid car and apologies.. admit ur mistake.. aku bukan nk sgt duit ko pon babi..  huhuuh harsh but nk lepaskan geram =(  anyway, this is what the jerk did to my car...

i keep telling myself, it's just a car.. don't make a big deal out of it huhuhuh and so i'll just try.. will need to fix it up tho.. i can't even bare to even look at it (over k hehehehe) exactly 5 months to date i'll fully pay off my car loan and be debt free...

*** This too shall pass *** 

Monday, June 10, 2013

Spring Break - Part 2

Ok continuing from the previous post..


So that morning, woke up early (even though the night before dah warning jue, sruh off kan alarm die).. ok I admit, sy mmg bias.. tido hatten ke ape, semangat je bgn nk turun gi breakfast.. tp stay kt New York, sanggup lapar jap toss and turn on the bed.. sian ibu ngandung, patut I teman her to go down and have breakfast huhuhuh wan was nice enough to buy us breakfast (tp still ade gak org complain kuih xsedap?) ate, rest jap then got ready to head out.. our plan for the day? Gi JPO to see what the hype is about.. but before that, sempat gi cari makan mee rebus tulang.. at first I thought they were referring to mee rebus stulang yg jue keeps on mentioning.. skali mee rebus smp and ade tulang 3 ketul besar dlm tu.. ‘terkejun’ k hahaha didn’t eat much, wasn’t that hungry.. lepak jap then head off to JPO.. drove there and the place was very secluded.. it looked kinda like Harbour Town kt Gold Coast tu, ala2 outdoor mall? It’s supposed to be a high-end haven where things were cheaper but since shopping isn’t really my thing, I couldn’t really compare.. we walked about, they shopped a bit, we had ice cream (31% off for baskin robins ok hehehe), singgah starbucks tpt wan keje, walked a bit more..

Then we decided to venture off to Melaka.. tp… haihhh bende nk jadi kan.. on the way out of the parking lot, we saw this hello kitty car.. wan br je mention something like keta tu br2 ni kne pecah.. then suddenly he got a call from the others n he sounded a bit different,, then nani dh drive in front of me n I saw piki n kin looking at the back towards my car.. first thing that came in mind? Are my car lights broken?? Please noooo huhuhuh but skali tgk my whole num plate at the front went missing.. xperasan la plak bler kn (tgh driving or time parked).. I don’t like when things like that happen.. kin dh ckp my face nmpk sedih cm nk nangis hehehehe mmg dh nk nangis dah tu, tp try tahan *sob sob* over k nk nangis sbb plate tercabut  =b  but that’s my baby, cermin depan scratch sket pon dh nangis hari tu hahaha so anyway, wan called his friend and we went to this place to get a new one..15-20 mins later, everything was settled.. deep breath, get over it, let’s move on..

Wasn’t really sure what time it was by the time we got to Melaka.. got to kin’s place and rest first.. ptt plan nk gi jonker but hujan lebat la plak.. we bought tickets to watch fast & furious 6 which started at around 11:50pm or so (tunggu adi hbs keje).. before movie, nk gi cari mkn dlu.. indecisive where to eat plus some were closed huhuhuh my tummy started to riot against me.. usually my tummy hurts like that when I was about to sleep and the cure for it is to just sleep it off.. but that day I can’t really sleep it off and when we got to the place to eat, it actually hurts to swallow huhuhu anyway, done eating (or so) drove to dataran pahlawan for the movie.. I’m not a keen follower of the movie but it was kinda good (minus all unrealistic parts off course)..quick question, if ur bf found out that his ex-gf could still be alive (after thinking she was dead all these while) will u let him go and look for her? Off course it does form some sort of closure, but where do u stand when it turns out that she is still alive (as the case in the movie) do u expect him to find out the truth and be like “ok that’s it, we can move on now”.. or will u really just back out and let them be together? Hhmmm

Anyway, movie done, drove back home and sleep.. another day down, another one more to go..


Our last day together (well, technically).. the most peaceful vacation yg xde alarm jue weehoo.. erkk tp ade plak alarm nani oppa gangnam style ten ten ten (bunyi cm ade emergency).. sempat tgk Blue Valentine jap.. plan for today, jalan2 melaka.. lalu the infamous kuih keria haji jalil limbongan tp xbukak lagi.. melepas la jue nk mkn laksa heheheh drove off to the town and stop kt kedai that was closed yesterday.. makan asam pedas.. asam pedas paling sedap la kate nani.. but to me, off course mama nye lg sedap hehehe  =b  done eating, went to dataran pahlawan again..park kat hatten (still one of my fave hotels).. ermm nk roller blade ke? Hehehehe (nape la kite xnmpk incident pusing tiang tu?) piki wanted to try it out, so die gi main sorg.. the rest just jalan2 around there.. nani went and checked out some leather store and end up buying a bag.. then they went to Gulati’s cari kain utk baju raya (jauhnye mencari kan).. bwk piki mkn tutti frutti, tp flavor xbest sgt..

Then walked to errr some other mall (ok xingat name).. nk gi cari dumbbell utk piki n swimming cap utk baby.. walked there, singgah Popular jap.. good thing they had limited choices, helped to refrain myself from buying anything.. found piki’s dumbbell, 10kg each fuyyooo hehehe xbli swimming cap baby, cuz xbyk choice.. wasn’t sure what time it was, but decided to go to Jonker sbb the day before xsempat.. biggest mistake? Giving up the parking kt hatten and drove to jonker.. Saturday at Melaka, what do we expect.. mmg traffic gler (tu baru namenye jam k jue) and each parking lot we wanted to go to was full.. I hate traffic (who doesn’t right) and we were stuck there for a good 1 hour plus.. i started to get cranky.. driving, especially in that condition, really test my patience.. throw anything at me and most probably i can handle it.. throw me in a traffic jam plus with drivers same2 bengong, and i lose my temper huhuhu sian gak ade sorg tu kne tgk that side of me.. masalahnye 1 hour pusing2 kat situ gak huhuhuh finally gave up n decided to go back.. haihh blh plak tersalah jalan… seb baik it was a dead end and we just have to do a u turn..

Our dinner plan for that night involves pasar malam =) kuih keria and coconut shake dah tutup huhuh sian wan xdpt rase.. next time je la.. smp kt pasar malam, met up with the rest, bought some stuff then lepak kt keta kin jap while nani n piki jalan2 sane.. sian kat Labuan xde pasar malam kan hehehe harapkn bazaar ramadhan setahun sebulan tu je la.. dorg nk mkn sup gearbox tp tpt dlu tu tutup la plak (dh kate nasib org Labuan this time around a bit malang sket, sumer la nk tutup hehehe) so went back, picked up adi then went to another place for sup gearbox..mkn2 then went back home..

We calculated that we had to leave the house around 6am the next morning (their flight was at 9am) so they started packing that night.. watched football a bit, smbg blue valentine and some other movie n lepak2 je.. since it was my last night there, spent time main2 ngn meow.. probably the only cat to date that I love.. not a big fan of cats but the last time I was there, she was so quiet and I like cats that are quiet (reduce the amount of ‘jumping’ time on my behalf hehehe) so after mandi that night, main2 ngn meow jap who got really fat the last time I saw her.. adi gi main ngn kittens yg cute2 tu.. dh 2am, tired and went to sleep..


The day has arrive to bid farewell to my fellow friends *cries* short vacation, xpuas lepak2 ngn dorg.. woke up at about 5am I think, got ready and said our goodbyes to kin and adi.. I just realized that I don’t exactly know the way from Melaka to klia =b  but we went out the nilai exit the last time, so I put my money there heheheh managed to get there in 1 and half hours (fist pump).. skali klia pon blh jam? Haihh dropped them off then decided to eat mcd before they board.. so they went to check in and we went to look for parking.. parked and walked to their counter.. hhmmm jue ade bff baru la plak.. bangla pon bangla la kan hahahah apparently the line was cut off and jue ‘befriended’ some bangla sbb nk cut queue dpn dorg "is this domestic?" *applause* good job jue, keep it up hahahahah dropped their bags and went to mcd.. had little time to spare, ate a bit then they boarded *sob sob* till next time.. decided to drop wan off at his house instead of the train station since I wasn’t familiar with the way there.. dropped him off then drove back home.. tired and what else? Sleep zzzzzz..

Days come and go, and before we knew it, it was all over.. got home and miss them already =(  November here we come? Hopefully things turn out as planned.. I really wanna see her baby bump hehehe ‘New Zealand’ again before the real New Zealand? I’m all for it.. so that’s it.. my trip from Kl-Melaka-Johor-Singapore-Johor-Melaka-Kl  =b heheheh till next time.. big hugs and kisses.. love u all..