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Thursday, September 19, 2013

Who cares about a title anyway

“It’s been two months and still no word, I don’t deserve this” – name that song.. 100 points if u can (without googling) and loser points if u can’t hahahaha yup it has been 2 months since I last post a thing.. Technically, my last two posts were schedule so I’d consider the last time I post something was before Ramadhan.. same excuse, I just don’t feel like writing.. loads of things to write about though, yet I can’t be bothered..

so here I am, it’s already the middle of September, just a little way to go till 2013 ends.. and then what? Another year ahead that’ll just zoom by as if it’s in a hurry.. off course I have the end of April to look forward to (the fellowships’ adventure to Mordor begins) but that’s just it.. I’ve been writing things down and scrapping them off, getting ‘ideas’ and later thinking how dumb they sound.. so basically I was just ranting, trying to make a sense out of this life.. I was thinking about how fast time pass by and how robotic it feels like being me (maybe most of us do anyway), and having this routined life that seems meaningless.. I was ranting how my weekends seems like a routine which makes Monday sucks even more (sorry Monday) and just thinking what’s the point to all of this..

then I paused and think, maybe I need to make a new routine.. where I slot in things (how little as it may seem) that means something to me, or have an impact on me, or at least something that I could be proud of.. although I have yet to figure what, but I gotta start somewhere right? (cue the sarcastic voice) *sigh* it’s just that I wonder, how do people get motivated.. I mean how do u stay positive, set a goal, and pull through it.. people talk about inspiration a lot that I feel like it’s lots it’s meaning.. but I need that.. I need to be inspired and have this new attitude towards life.. there’s only one person that comes in mind when I talk about positivity and I wonder how he does it.. does getting feedback and communicating with others really have that effect on you.. or are some people just born and raise on it.. I have this problem, and it’s huge.. it may seem petty, but it’s taking a toll on me.. I don’t want to be this person who don’t walk the talk.. yes I can think of a million things I can do with my life, be it a hobby or just random things to occupy my time.. yet throughout the years, I’m still ignorant.. I need rehab cause when I think about it, I’m addicted to being lazy (is that even a thing?)

another round of Shaytember obviously fail.. I need a program.. scratch that, I need a coach.. a coach in life, that is.. I need someone to hammer me whenever I say something but don’t commit to it.. just imagine the amount of pain I have to endure if I did have one hehehehe so new month coming soon and he has plans (of course he does).. a collaboration with hiimrawn, so let’s see what they have in store.. do I have to say that I’m in? we all know what will happen eventually right, why would this time be any different.. BAM, there it is, bad attitude already.. a show of hand how many of you are sick about reading this already? I know I am..

how about some ideas on things to write about.. the things on my list doesn’t seem too appealing.. I’ve got my raya update (dah basi hokey), the lack of tv series to follow, the debate on the 2nd amendments of gun controls (another shooting in the US, not so shocking after all) *yawns* right, just boring stuff.. want to write another poem but I always get stuck *roll eyes*.. ok malas sgt.. I need to do some early planning on things.. till next time (don’t bet on it) bye..