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Thursday, May 31, 2012


Ain't it pretty? and look peaceful too 
(mcm kt overseas x? heheheh)

Standing majestically underneath the sky,
You take my breath away everytime I passed by.

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Baked Pasta Recipe

one of my all time favourite cooked by my mum... havn't tried it all by myself but it seems pretty easy hehehe my mum used to bake it but most of the time, we choose not to cuz it taste so much better =)  bear in mind that this recipe serves about more than 10 people, so if you're cooking it for a small family like mine (family of 5), then just use half of each ingredients aight?

Ingeredients :-
1 packet of Fussilli (or any other type of pasta, but this is my fave for this recipe)
1/2 kg of minced beef
some garlic
1 can of button mushroom
2 cans of mushroom soup
1 Philedelphia cream cheese (or any other cream cheese)
Mozzerella cheese (for toppings)
a bit of black pepper

first thing first, boil some water for your pasta.. add a little bit of salt for taste.. once the pasta is cooked, drain out the water and put it to the side.. or if you're in a rush, do the next step while waiting for the pasta to cook..

so, fry some garlic and add in the minced beef (use just a little bit of oil).. let it fry till the beef change colour then put it to the side for later..

then, make some mushroom soup.. pour in the cans of mushroom soup and add in the same amount of water (2 cans) in the pot (like how u usually make ur instant soup).. stir well till the soup dissolves in the water.. then add in the cream cheese.. cut the cheese into smaller pieces for it to blend well with the soup..  put a bit of black pepper (depends on how much u like black pepper)..

when it's all simmered well, add in the minced beef fried earlier and the pasta... n mix add some texture and yummness to it, ad in some mozzarella cheese.. n now u're all set..

the end result? 

old pic...

looks yummy?

lemme noe if u tried it aight.. 

Homst... I Love Food

So a couple of weeks ago, my family (minus papa) went out for dinner..At first plan nk gi Santai je but then yaya mentioned about mama wanting to eat at Homst a few nights before that.. so tukar plan.. we invited papa but as usual, papa xnk ikot.. we didn't mentioned where we were going to be exact, just said that we're going out for dinner.. turns out, if papa knew we were going to Homst, he would've come with huhhuuhu tu la, next time ikot jer.. so anyway, we went to Homst ttdi but it was full, and since we're so rajin n sy dh terbayang2 lemon chicken n butter prawn, we decided to go to the Kota Damansara branch heheheh went there and there were plenty of seats left yeahhh we kinda ordered a lot for only 4 ppl plus izad wasn't really that hungry.. this is what we had...

instead of eating with white rice, we ordered chinese fried rice instead.. had 3 plates and shared within us 4.. sedap gk..

then off course we had butter prawn.. yummy gk especially the serawang2 tu hehehe but still kt labuan tu lagi sedap.. nk lagi yg tu..

for vege, we had kailan ikan masin (i think that's what it's called).. sy xmkn sayur kailan sgt..

then the lemon chicken.. yummnesssss

yaya ordered sotong tepung... kt labuan nyer gk lg sedap  =b

n lastly mama ordered ikan 3 rasa.. but maybe yg sampai ikan masak something else  =b i like ikan 3 rasa yg kt kg baru better, but ate this a bit too... if papa came along, he sure could finish this for us  =)

rs cm dh a few times gk mkn sini but not as often as Santai.. tibe2 terbayang mkn seafood kt labuan kt Tanjung Aru ke ape tah name tpt tu... sedap giler nk lagi!!!

Monday, May 28, 2012

Am I?

So my 'go-to' topic for the day was googling on "Depression".. for some reason, i always thought i was suffering this mild depression.. i read symptoms but i never seem to fit the profile well.. why do i think i have depression? well, i thought that would be the simplest answer to my never-ending numbness... u see, i don't just realize this when i started working.. i think because i'm a weirdo and i tend to over think things sometimes, i have these weird thoughts.. i don't consider myself as gothic or whatever label ppl tend to put on others, but i do think that my mind does work in dark ways.. so there must be a reason for it all right? sometimes i think it's the need to be different.. and sometimes i think there are other ways to explain it.. but that's always been just at the back of my mind.. but lately with work (i hate writing about work), i feel like something has grown.. i'm sure if i eat healthier and choose a healthier lifestyle, things could change.. but i feel like everytime i'm in the office, i have this headache.. and it's not the normal headache i get, but it's like my brain forcing itself to work harder.. i'm not saying that i don't use my brain that often =b it's just that the way it processes stuff makes me uncomfortable..

anyway, today i've been doing some reading on depression at work... kinda interesting.. it makes u's just that i still don't fit the profile.. not that i want to.. it just makes it all more confusing than it already is.. so for now, as i still continue with my reading, i would just consider myself as unhappy...


A Talk Full of Nothingness

i'm a whiny bitch, i'll admit that.. there are some days when i wake up, n everything just feels wrong.. today was that day.. when people say 'sleep on it' doesn't it usually mean that sleeping can help u think straighter or clearer? (are those words correct?) and then u'll wake up refreshed? but i went to sleep last night dreading the thought of going to work.. n yes, i woke up this morning with the same feeling.. i need to change the way i get up in the morning, like be more grateful that i'm still alive perhaps? then i get to the office and think to myself, here goes another day of doing this crap again.. when i should be thankful that i still have a job and am not contributing to the percentage of unemployment.. but that's just how i feel right now... i feel like the way things are set in motion just ain't right for me.. it's like there's something missing.. i could always feel this numbness and somehow, i'm relating it to my work.. i know i've mentioned it countless of time and i'm sick of it myself, so i'm pretty sure those reading will just skip this whole post.. but yes, i feel the urge to just scream n want things to go my way for once..

it doesn't really help when people talk cuz at times like these, i don't give a shit.. and faking it takes too much energy out of me that i could feel myself weighing down with all the 'burden'.. stopping myself from rolling my eyes ain't that easy.. i could be a sarcastic bitch n i think only my friends know that.. and when i say my friends, i mean the freaks =b i miss them a lot.. only about a month left till we're 'reunited' hehehe road trip!!! *sigh* i can pin point all the wrongs in my life easier than the goods.. just stop complaining will ya!!   

Monday, May 21, 2012

I Hate It When I Screwed Up At Work


i guess it's already a well-known fact that i suck at what i do.. yet i still torture myself for not having the guts to quit.. i think having that known sometimes are the reason why i make it hard for myself whenever i make mistakes.. i overlooked something today n now i have to stay back n make sure i finish it in time.. so much of going back early right  *sigh*  didn't help that i made someone wait for me (in my defense, i did ask that person to go ahead, but still i should've been more courteous perhaps? i don't know)  so now i'm just wrapping up things and hopefully, my sister can pick me up at the station later.. i hate walking to the station alone at night  =( 


Rs cm dh lamer xupdate blog kn? hehehe last week felt super long (padahal it was still 7 days, and 24hrs per day).. blk lmbt jer (remind me to claim) but luckily izad drive gi ukm, so sy xyah drive.. on top of saving rm10.50 per day for parking, i have a driver to send me home hehehe bagus kn  =b so pinjam la keta sy lg ye... last thursday xtahan sgt penat, blakang rs lenguh2 jer.. xtau la my sitting position yg xbtol ker aper, but rs sgt2 xcomfortable.. so plan blk awal n nk singgah curve.. why? dh penat2, lg nk gi curve instead of rest kt rumah?? well, singgah curve jap sbb nk gune Rest and Go kat situ heheheh thank you Gintell for that kinda good idea.. a massage chair cost a fortune.. yg kitorg testing yg 3D tu, yg blh detect mane shoulders kitorg etc tu, cost about rm13k... jgn harap la nk beli kn.. so guner yg kt mall rm10 for 30mins pon jd la yer hehehe pilih curve sbb mlm2 xramai sgt org, especially time weekdays.. so that day blk cepat sket, n mama pon nk ikot.. so gi curve, syok2 relax kt massage chair, then proceed to.. ermm... to Chatime!!! hehehe ngidam la plak, mcm dh lamer xminum  =b short trip jer.. didn't take us long.. smp jer, terus naek atas, spent less than 5 mins tgk some furniture kt atas tu, used the massage chair while izad gi bli coffee bean n jln2 sket kt metrojaya, went down beli chatime, then blk rumah.. see how fun it is to have a home near shopping malls heheheh

after that mmg rs lega sket.. felt like my shoulders were lighter (rsnyer it's not just in my head) mama said, still cannot beat the human massage.. xpnh try but i know it's true la.. tgk la, if rajin, maybe nk try soon.. dgr wahida gi hot stone massage kt PJ hilton cm best la plak.. teringin sgt2 gi, n bwk mama gk..we'll see la how.. mcm nk amek cuti cuz cuti byk lg.. lgpon weekend ni nk bbq kt selayang for opah's birthday.. weeee ilyas tumpang gk birthday die.. menu maybe a little more simple than before kot cuz bg mama rest.. we might just be making baked pasta minus the baking hahaha then the usual lamb, chicken, hot dogs and burgers.. 

k lah, today plan nk blk cepat.. hopefully nothing is stopping me from doing so  =b  toodles

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Saya Penat!!!

This week has been very exhausting for me.. and it hasn't even ended yet.. only half-way through.. giler ke ape?? i think i've established myself as being someone that's not really organised.. and this week, i have difficulties setting my priorities and also taking a step back and clearly think what needs to be done..actually rs mcm dh buat, tp rs serabut gk.. xsker sgt2 sbb work related, and i hate getting frustrated about things related to work, especially one that i'm not in love with.. i was about to write a post about it.. do u go with ur dreams and do what u like, or do u challange urself and prove to urself and to others that u can do it? but that's another story.. xnk melalut sgt.. but the point is, i'm extremely tired, especially mentally... this thing i'm reading now, for some unknown reason, can't really get inside my head.. i can't really digest the information cuz not only that they're dry, but it's something i can't visualize.. and i need to visualize things in order for me to learn.. i'm forcing myself to read as much, but by doing so, i don't understand a thing... and the most fucked up thing is that i don't just read it about 5 times in order to understand it, it takes me like 10 times... ok fine, maybe exaggerate a little bit but that's how i feel it is.. it doesn't help that i have things outstanding that i need to finish too.. last week was a waste of energy, doing something with no result.. yes, i have learn that no matter how hard and over the top the effort u put into something, what matter the most is result.. u hear peopl talking about i'll put 150% of my effort to accomplish this.. but if even with 150% of effort, and at the end of the day, u produce nothing, no results to show (good results, not results that u faild, mind u) ur efforts are still worthless.. and that's what i learn about this particular task i'm doing... u think u take a step forward, but really, u're just taking 5 steps backwards.. just when u think u're almost done, u realised that u didn't do nothing much and u feel like u're back in square one.. how pathetic... sigh.. penat sgt2 xsker  =( for the short term, i need to be good at this.. i know i need to learn more, but learning isn't one of my specialties.. and i can prove that with the results i have from years of studying.. sorry to waste ur money dad.. u told me once to repay u back, so that's what i'll do... eventually hehehehe dh la, malas nk fikir  huhuhuh waiting for my lil sis to pick me up.. it's 9:04pm already and i'm still in the office... sucks!!! this week mcm blk lmbt jer  =( i dun't like it huhuhuhuuh

Monday, May 14, 2012

I Write For Me

***post ni sgt la outdated... been in my draft for weeks***

Ever wonder why my blog is so damn boring? off course u do, but why the hell are you still here then??  =b  i started out this blog cuz i find that having a journal at home won't be too safe hehehe although i do enjoy writing on paper more, typing has it's perks too.. and well my handwriting ain't that good so having a blog helps me read back about what i went through or how i feel without having to assume things cuz my handwriting sux.. then as time goes by, i tend to write short poems, random ones of course, and having a blog help me track those poems easily.. my journal doesn't have a search engine basically, so there's no way i would flip through pages if i were to look for something specific.. 

i don't write to impress so there's bound to be a lotta crap in here.. all ramblings off course.. i usually write what's on top of my mind and minimum filtering.. those were back in the days when i knew no one was reading cuz i never told anyone.. then when i told my best friends, well nothing really changed that much i dun't really have anything to hide from them.. all crimes were committed together anyway  =b  then when i thought that a certain someone was reading, i didn't put everything down.. some things are better kept to ourselves.. then i tried to have nuffnang cuz i was 'attracted' by the concept of making money by writing, cuz basically i wanna be a journalist so that's as close as i could get to being one right? but obviously it's not that easy cuz u need to promote ur blog, n ppl would only be interested in ur blog if u have something interesting to say... and talking about ur sucky life ain't one of 'em hahahaha so i basically just gave up on that cuz i don't feel like writing just so others could read... i prefer to write what i want n feel and never have to think of ppl judging me...

so yeah, i'm basically writing for myself.. for me to reflect back on what happened and what i've been through before.. on how i used to write and how my writings have changed.. or how i myself have changed as a person (changed meh??) cuz whenever i read back my old post, i tend to laugh at myself.. at how naive i was.. and how immature i sound.. i guess some part of who i am reflects in the way i write.. owh well, with all that said.. if this ain't interesting enough, then easy.. Stop Reading!!!  =b  byee

Wednesday, May 09, 2012

So Today Kinda Suck

I'm not quite sure where my head is at this moment.. for some reason, i can't think straight.. i thought today would be another productive day n i'll be able to finish up some outstanding things.. but no thanx to me, i kinda screwed it up.. maybe i need to organise myself more and set my priorities straight.. i donnoe, maybe i should focus more on the objective and what results i want rather than what i think could work for the moment.. take things one step at a time rather than rushing into things especially when testing things.. i guess i'm just too disappointed in myself right now and all these thoughts keep popping in my head.. u noe when u argue with urself, that little voice inside of u suddenly can recall a lot of things and things that seem petty to u at first suddenly becomes this big things... suddenly i think of all the things i've done, and comparing it to what other ppl have done, and try to see what gives them the right to ridicule what i did just cuz it wasn't part of the plan, although that might not be what they intended but it did seems to be the case to me at that moment.. i don't noe, it just went all wrong for me towards the end today.. timing was all off as well, what with other things i learn of.. i really do need to organise myself and list down the tasks i need to do, although i don't noe if i could manage it all.. it's just a little bit overwhelming right know to even give a shit about it..

having things like this happen in my life reminds me why i hate ppl reading my blog.. i dun feel like i can be completely honest here without being cautious about things.. but the good thing about rambling to urself is no one will take the effort to read anyway, it's too boring  =b it's just one of those phase in my life that i have to get over it.. owh well, just deal with it bitch..

Friday, May 04, 2012

Let's Get Fit?

so have u noticed me mentioning about working out a lot? it's something that has been lingering on my mind for some time now.. i know i ain't good at it but i do try.. n i don't necessarily enjoy it mainly cuz i suck at it, and i'm not that patient cuz i wanna see results there and then.. but there are times when i do feel good after working out cuz i'm panting and i know that means i'm doing something, right? so far, i do about 15 - 20 mins of workout.. it may not be a straight full 20 mins cuz i do take a break occasionally in between but in total, i try to make it about that time.. i'm trying out steps from Amanda Russell and Carliestylez and here are my favorites (or what i usually manage to do)..

Crunches: these are the normal sit ups.. it works out ur abs as long as u keep it tight..
Side crunches: same thing but u're laying on ur side..  done to loosen that muffin top of mine  =b
Reptiles: down on ur fours (hands and legs), take one leg high up, and bring that knee down to ur elbow (left knee left elbow, right knee right elbow, u know the drill).. this will work out ur abs as well as ur hands since u're supporting ur whole body..
Barrier Jumps: down on ur fours again, and jump from side to side as if there's something in the middle.. this is more of a leg workout..
Lunges: my favourite leg workout.. standing position, then take a step back as far as u can.. lowering ur body and making sure ur front knee doesn't go beyond ur toes.. try to have it at a 90 degrees..
Turkish Get Ups: another of my favourite but i always hear cracking sounds on my back.. i don't think it's normal.. u basically lie down, then stand up without using ur hands to support urself.. this is more of a leg workout..
Prisoners squats: this is tiring.. from a standing position, with legs apart a bit, get into a half squat position, stand up, and do a karate kick.. switch legs each time.. make sure ur bum sticks out n ur knees doesn't go beyond ur toes when u're half squating..
Cardio Burpees: down on ur fours like in a pumping position, jump and pull ur legs in like in a squating position, then jump as high as u can and repeat.. this works more on the legs and is super tiring even after doing just ten.. try it!!
Planking Jacks: down on your fours like in a pumping position.. ur legs will be together.. then jump and seperating ur legs and jump back to ur original position... this will work out ur legs..
Legs Lift: lie down on ur back, lift ur legs till 90 degrees (like n 'L' shape) slowly lowering it down.. this is more of an abs workout rather than ur legs cuz u'll be lifting and lowering ur legs using ur lower abs muscles..
Reverse Push Ups: cuz i suck and i can't do push ups, i do this which i call reverse push ups.. get down on ur fours but facing upwards.. ur body will be like a bridge.. and slowly lower down ur body by bending ur arms..

so those are the basic workouts i try to do.. there are more but i bet u don't really wanna know.. it's hard imagining the steps without pictures anyway.. i don't have a certain way of doing things.. so far they're all jumbled up.. but i'm working towards having a more consistent and effective workout.. i've set my timer to 10 mins, and try doing the steps in 20 reps (thinking of increasing them to 30).. the idea is to do whatever u can, and as much as u can within that 10 mins.. then take a minute break, and repeat.. like what Amanda would say.. it's ot the amount of time u do it, but more of the intensity of it.. so this is what i try to do for now, working on getting my heart rate up, sweating a bit, and getting my body used to being a bit tired..

so hopefully i can keep up doing this and it can help me to stay fit...

"That which we persist in doing becomes easier - not that the nature of the task has changed, but our ability to do it has increased" --- Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Wednesday, May 02, 2012

The Idea of Things

I think i've always been captivated by just the idea of things.. i don't necessarily have to have it, or have to be it.. just the idea of it would be fine for me.. eating healthy and working out for example.. i think, even more so after watching Shaytards, i've always like the idea of being healthy too.. in my mind, i feel like i can do all those crunches, reptiles and do my skipping everyday (note: in my mind).. but the matter of fact is that i'm too lazy to get off my ass and actually do something.. the occasional times i do decide to do some workout (i'm not sure if it could qualify as workout actually), it's only for a few minutes... like less than an hour.. n i'll be all huffing n puffing n so out of breath n think twice about doing it, wondering if it's worth it.. of course it's worth it, but i'm not really the patient type and i would really love to see quick results.. but if it takes me like months before i could actually see some results, then i throw my hands up.. i think my main problem is laziness and lack of discipline or will power.. i always make excuses for myself, like how i don't have a workout partner, how i could actually do it if i have a buddy next to me, doing it with me.. so yeah, the idea of being healthy n into exercising is quite appealing to me..

and how about the idea of growing up with ur best friends.. have u ever have a conversation that goes to the direction of we'll get married around the same time.. be pregnant together.. and we can get our kids to marry each other and we'll become in laws!! no? well it does seem like something people would think of right? it's just the idea of being there together makes it all sounds good, but really, u wouldn't wanna do that.. how else will u bitch about ur in laws if they're ur best friends? who would u go to to complain about things? hehehe again it's just one of those things that sounds good in ur head but doesn't really turns out the way u imagined it will be.. it may turn out great for some people, those few lucky people... who knows right..

same thing goes to relationship.. the idea of being in a relationship might seem appealing to some, so you tend to find someone to what i mentioned to shikin, it's not the case of "owh i like u", but it's more like "hmm i think i'll like u" and so u set ur sight in that direction..are there really such people? well, u'll never know hehehe it's just that sometimes seems like that.. it's like when u see an old couple together and u go all aaawww they're so sweet together.. i wanna have that kinda person to be with too, and we could grow old together.. isn't that just awesome? ok, so maybe the idea of growing old together doesn't just seems great in ur mind, but really IS a great thing itself.. it's just that at the moment u're thinking about it, do u have a particular person in mind or r u still thinking about a possible someone and just willing to settle for anyone.. i don't know, maybe when it comes to that kinda love, i'm a little skeptical about it.. i don't really think i could love a guy enough to want to be with him for the rest of my life  =b

moving on... the idea of being a mother fascinates me too.. i've always been looking forward to being a mother (but also fear to have a mini me as a daughter) as opposed to being a wife.. maybe it's because being a wife is too much fairytale with all the pre-marriage thing, while u know that being a mother is a lotta hard work.. of course there's the occasion of imagining dressing up ur daughters in cute little princess dress or tutus or just generally cute outfits (admit it girls, we all want our very own Suri heheheh) but we all know that being a mother is more than just "playing dolls" and dressing up.. it's much bigger than that.. and at the back of our minds, we all wanna be that 'cool' mum.. we want to be "bff" with our kids and could talk about just anything with them.. wouldn't that be awesome? and also when the idea of being a mother comes to mind, it's always me with a kid.. it's never with teenagers (esp those rebellious ones) or a young adult.. but i do kinda think of what i'll do with my kids or the way i control them when they are young adults.. do i hold on to them and control every inch of their life like how i am now, or do i give them some freedom and let them choose their own path.. do i support them regardless what they choose to be when they grow up? those kinda things i havn't really thought about cuz c'mon, that's a long way to go..

so really, does the idea of things fascinates u too or is it something u would really wanna have or be? will it be something u work hard to achieve or are they one of those things that u just let it happen if it is written for u.. anyway, i'm bored already, so that will be all.. byeee

Avenged Sevenfold Live in KL


by far the coolest concert i've ever been to (ok maybe bias sket).. but it was a blast.. and it helps that i was near the stage and i could fell my heart pounding to the sound of the drums.. cool weh.. ko ptt gi kin =b thanx to adam n mohsin temankn hehehe picked up mohsin around 5:50pm n drove to Sunway Pyramid and met abg there.. ate a bit (n i mean a bit) before we head off.. dlm sunway tu penuh org pakai black shirt with A7X on 'em.. no guessing where they're heading to hehehe

went in after maghrib so we didn't see the opening's ok, tho, mmg dtg tgk sevenfold je pon.. n when the show started, the crowds went wild!! they opened with Nightmare n Critical Acclaim.. n i was like a little kid, jumping with abg screaming Nightmare!!!!! i don't think i could really describe it with words cuz it was so much fun.. (minus some songs i didn't sempat hafal n will get it from Mohsin foREVer).. my bad, songs i knew they would sing, i didn't really listen to it that much like Welcome To The Family and Buried Alive.. and i felt bad for Mohsin cuz the one song that he knew was Dear God, and they didn't even sang that!! siot jer.. n no Seize The Day, Warmness Of The Soul, Gunslinger, Scream etc.. 

but among the songs they did perform was Afterlife, A Little Piece of Heaven, Fiction, So Far Away, Beast and the Harlot, and some others i'm too lazy to recall (saper sruh xgi hahahaha) i had a good view of them n my M Shadow is so fucking hawt!!! but there were tall people and hands in front of me, plus they were jumping so i had to really tip toe to see them.. and my phone sux cuz i can't zoom in.. bodoh tol.. n when i recorded a song, the audio sux.. but overall it was one of the best concert i've been to.. A7X are awesome live.. it's just that u might need to stand in the middle of the stage to have the best sound cuz we were on the left side, and could mostly hear Zacky's guitar instead of Syn n Matt's vocals.. but it was still awesome nonetheless.. and they were so cool that they stayed at least for 5 mins on the stage after they were done, to throw picks n drumsticks to the crowds.. (cuz most ppl just leave the stage once they're done) and a guy got to shake hands with Matt cuz he brought a Malaysian flag with him n Matt asked him to pass it over.. so peeps, a secret weapon to shake hands with a star is to bring a flag heheheh must go to another one of their concert now hehehehe and will definitely try to... best wooo

some pics i did managed to take n some from bb mohsin sbb die blh zoom.. 

 the crowd at Tune Talk Zone.. 

 my dear cousin.. forgot to take another pic la with the stage la abg huhuhuh lighting xcantek sgt at this time..

 the stage!! super excited for it to start woot!!

 if u look very hard, u could see Synyster Gates on the right.. look it..

 My Shadow!!! Hotness alert!!

 Better view from the screen...


 The infamous Syn's guitar

yes i know, byk pic M Shadows jer.. my bad.. abg kept reminding me to take a pic, but with my crappy camera phone, xde mood sgt nk amek.. mohsin helped a bit tho, those last few pics were from his phone.. i think i should tag abg in one of the pic hehehe hope he had  a good time.. i know i did *winks*