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Monday, May 28, 2012

Am I?

So my 'go-to' topic for the day was googling on "Depression".. for some reason, i always thought i was suffering this mild depression.. i read symptoms but i never seem to fit the profile well.. why do i think i have depression? well, i thought that would be the simplest answer to my never-ending numbness... u see, i don't just realize this when i started working.. i think because i'm a weirdo and i tend to over think things sometimes, i have these weird thoughts.. i don't consider myself as gothic or whatever label ppl tend to put on others, but i do think that my mind does work in dark ways.. so there must be a reason for it all right? sometimes i think it's the need to be different.. and sometimes i think there are other ways to explain it.. but that's always been just at the back of my mind.. but lately with work (i hate writing about work), i feel like something has grown.. i'm sure if i eat healthier and choose a healthier lifestyle, things could change.. but i feel like everytime i'm in the office, i have this headache.. and it's not the normal headache i get, but it's like my brain forcing itself to work harder.. i'm not saying that i don't use my brain that often =b it's just that the way it processes stuff makes me uncomfortable..

anyway, today i've been doing some reading on depression at work... kinda interesting.. it makes u's just that i still don't fit the profile.. not that i want to.. it just makes it all more confusing than it already is.. so for now, as i still continue with my reading, i would just consider myself as unhappy...