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Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Saya Penat!!!

This week has been very exhausting for me.. and it hasn't even ended yet.. only half-way through.. giler ke ape?? i think i've established myself as being someone that's not really organised.. and this week, i have difficulties setting my priorities and also taking a step back and clearly think what needs to be done..actually rs mcm dh buat, tp rs serabut gk.. xsker sgt2 sbb work related, and i hate getting frustrated about things related to work, especially one that i'm not in love with.. i was about to write a post about it.. do u go with ur dreams and do what u like, or do u challange urself and prove to urself and to others that u can do it? but that's another story.. xnk melalut sgt.. but the point is, i'm extremely tired, especially mentally... this thing i'm reading now, for some unknown reason, can't really get inside my head.. i can't really digest the information cuz not only that they're dry, but it's something i can't visualize.. and i need to visualize things in order for me to learn.. i'm forcing myself to read as much, but by doing so, i don't understand a thing... and the most fucked up thing is that i don't just read it about 5 times in order to understand it, it takes me like 10 times... ok fine, maybe exaggerate a little bit but that's how i feel it is.. it doesn't help that i have things outstanding that i need to finish too.. last week was a waste of energy, doing something with no result.. yes, i have learn that no matter how hard and over the top the effort u put into something, what matter the most is result.. u hear peopl talking about i'll put 150% of my effort to accomplish this.. but if even with 150% of effort, and at the end of the day, u produce nothing, no results to show (good results, not results that u faild, mind u) ur efforts are still worthless.. and that's what i learn about this particular task i'm doing... u think u take a step forward, but really, u're just taking 5 steps backwards.. just when u think u're almost done, u realised that u didn't do nothing much and u feel like u're back in square one.. how pathetic... sigh.. penat sgt2 xsker  =( for the short term, i need to be good at this.. i know i need to learn more, but learning isn't one of my specialties.. and i can prove that with the results i have from years of studying.. sorry to waste ur money dad.. u told me once to repay u back, so that's what i'll do... eventually hehehehe dh la, malas nk fikir  huhuhuh waiting for my lil sis to pick me up.. it's 9:04pm already and i'm still in the office... sucks!!! this week mcm blk lmbt jer  =( i dun't like it huhuhuhuuh