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Wednesday, October 12, 2011

::L-O-V-E:: (lazy post)

if someone ask you, "are you in love?", what would you say? could you be single and still answer yes?

where should one even begin? it's so subjective.. it's simple yet complicated at the same time.. it's everything jumbled up to one.. everything written here would be from my point of view and scattered.. u may not agree with it, but it doesn't matter.. we don't live the same way, raised the same way.. our perception will bound to be different...

let's face it, there's a whole kinda love out there.. there's blood and there's water... there's the love for ur family and other relatives, and there's also the love for your friends and that certain someone.. i think i could categorise myself as a person who loves her family hardcore, cuz like i always say, i'm obsess with them.. i could barely comprehend working long hours n not spend time with them even when living in the same house, what more living without them.. i have a special place within me for extended families too.. i have horrendous thoughts sometimes, one that i could never utter out loud, cuz it scares the shit out of me.. it dwells up in my head sometimes and although i try to keep it out of my mind, i know it's inevitable..

as for my dearest frens, they'll always have an impact on me.. i've grown throughout the years with frens by my side, no matter how often they come and go, no matter they stay the same or they differ, n no matter how much i tell myself i have none.. truth is, i've always had company..  i wasn't the kid who sat alone in class or had lunch alone.. i wasn't that typical loner u watch in movies.. it's just when i define frens, my definition seems to be deeper than usual.. i tend to limit my labels cuz they're so precious to me.. i've always had a wall.. n i'm selfish enough to want ppl break them to earn that label.. a few have.. maybe not torn down completely, but enough to know there's two sides of me.. the other half maybe not so much known, but definitely not what others see..

is all that love? well, to me it is.. love is a very strong feeling, n that's just what it is.. a feeling.. there's no other way to know it unless u feel it.. it makes things better and could also make things worst... u have a special moment and share it with ur loved ones, that moment will be more meaningful because of their presence and u'll be happier than u'll be with others... then there's time where things don't go the way u plan n ur loved ones hurt u.. the cuts will be deeper n the wounds will heal slower.. it's because u love them so much that makes the pain, sometimes, unbearable.. don't u think? love takes something n times it with 10... 

that's why it's a little intimidating for me.. i have my confort zone n i don't put myself out there in fear that i'll get hurt.. i'm more of an observer.. i like to see things from the sideline.. i've observed a number of relationship n manage to have my own definition n view on things.. i can talk a lot about it without experiencing it.. cuz frankly speaking, it ain't easy.. loving ur family, that's kinda easy, for me at least.. but for the other half, that would be a challenge.. maybe cuz i get bored easily.. maybe i'm too picky? but what can i say, i dun like to let strangers in  =b

which brings me to another thought on marriage....
what's your take on that?
-lazy post-