My cousin is Awesome!!

lets just keep this to oursleves, but yes Mohsin is awesome hahaha he would say this hundreds of time, n i'll deny them, but really, he's a very cool guy.. he's annoyingly funny, n i tell him everything about me, (well, maybe almost everything).. whut's with this guy anyway? well, yesterday (as u may read below) was a crappy day for me.. i was crying in the office n i had no mood at all to work.. he was being himself off course, but did sumhow to calm me down.. not after my tantrum that is.. i told him whut happened n say how i dun wanna go home early n see my mum, so we decided to catch a movie along wif my sis.. as usual, i'll be checking on tix n time n since Iron Man 2 was new, all cinema was full.. so i told him, nvm we'll just cancel.. then a few mins later he suggested another movie.. so to keep this short, b4 the movie started (we watched The Losers), i asked him whut the movie was about n he said he didn't noe.. so i was like, "ape la plih citer tp xtau psl ape".. n he said, he simply picked a movie cuz sumone said she doesn't wanna go home hahaha see, didn't i told u he's awesome... yes mohsin, i appreciate whut u did.. thank you!!

teenagers scare the living shit out of me

so here's the deal, ppl say that the most exciting yet troublesome phases in life is when u're a teenager.. dat's the point in life where u wanna try everything right? u become a rebel n started to break rules.. gets this thrill when u don't get caught.. n thinks the world will end if u do.. found out a few months later that it's not such a big deal after all.. and sumtimes, it is a big deal.. sumtimes the decisions u make, is fatal.. n for some, like me, those are the times where the person u fear most, would u be ur parents.. n so that might be the thing that was on Aminulrasyid..his decision to flee the cops cost him his life.. it's tragic n in these circumstances, u need that person who u can blame for everthing, otherwise, whut's the point..so in this case, the police were condemned by mostly everyone for shooting a 15 year old boy.. off course, if u noe d rule, u're not supposed to shoot anyone who's unarmed, that's why in the movies, when a cop chases an unarmed bad guy in shooting distance, he opt to chase the guy until he got away (n i bet u were screaming, just shoot him already, will ya) so yeah, it was questioned why the cops open fire.. but lets see it from their view.. lets say for instance, instead of a 15 year old boy, the person behind the wheel was a murderer or a rapist, would the public be this sympathetic n outraged? have u watched the Dark Knight yet? if so, i'm sure u remember the scene right after harvey was admitted to the hospital where Joker was dressed as a nurse.. i can't recall the exact dialogue but basically what his point was that, kill 100 convict and the whole town cheers, kill 1 gud guy, n they all panic.. coming back to the topic, u're a cop.. someone drove pass u who off the speed limit at wee hours.. u signalled them to stop n they sped off.. so what were they supposed to think.. off course the guy must've done something wrong to refuse to stop.. n after giving chase, i'm sure they were more eager to nab this guy.. so shooting the tyres may be justified.. i mean that is one way to stop a car completely.. investigations are still undergoing, but it was said that about 20 shots were fired.. may be that was more than neccessary.. so that might be the biggest mistake the cops did.. but the one true mistake that started this all, was made by a teenager.. a normal, typical and foolish teenager..


you were out when people were having dreams, and some poor souls were blame of your mischeif - ZulMajid Krambit

i just can't live like this

i dunnoe where to start... everything is so fucked up right now i just can't stop crying... i bet everyone knows by now how much my mum dislikes my frens.. but seriously, it can't possibly be to this extent.. i knew when i got the green light it was too good to be true n i noe how cliche' dat sounds.. i'm just tired of all this, honestly... i mean i'm gonna be 24 this yr n it's getting kinda old don't ya think? at first, there was a lotta things that i just wanted to pour out here, but i dun see the point of doing so.. i already cried my eyes out twice n i dun think it's appropriate to do so in the office so i'm trying to relax myself n take it easy for a few hours..

***

but just to share this to u (i.e raf =b), here's basically whut happened.. as u noe, jue got engaged last year n i asked my parents (in particular, my mum) if i could go there over the weekend.. n as usual my mum was a bit hesitant about it n said i should go for her wedding instead... so the truth is that jue actually baught tix for a bunch of us (me, kin, ceah n wan) which cost her 60 (murah gler kn) n it was due on th 27th may till one week.. so this has been quite a routine (twice) now where tix are baught n figers are crossed in the hope of one day, i finally get to go there... i wouldn't be all offended n all if it was the first time this was to haapen.. unfortunately it wasn't... kin went to labuan while i was still studying, so i had to pass that trip.. den i was thinking dat maybe after i finish study, n taking a break from college in between phases, i might really get a chance to go.. but no... and that's one thing... whut made things worse was that my cousin invited me to join her to australia since i finished studying.. n having to live in this family for 23 yrs (then) i knew there was no chance of going... so i asked my dad, rather relunctantly if i could go.. n being it australia, plus me not working, equals to him forking out money so he said, xpyh la pegi.. so i took it as it is.. a no n it would be ok if it stopped there.. but no my lil sister had to open her mouth n say how australia was her place n how she was supposed to go there 3 yrs a go but canceled cuz her fren canceled which is actually the main reason why i went to labuan that year.. so she said, if i were to go, she have to come wif me.. n i told her, papa said no... but then being her, the baby of the family, my dad actually considered this (as if dat was enuff justification to it) n i was dumbfounded.. here i am, relaxing at home, taking my time to chill for a few months, denied the permission to go, n there's my sister being a brat n having classes (mind u) actually having the permission to go... n everytime i braught this up, she would say, well if it wasn't for me, inaz pn xgi.. true but ouch... i mean i dun usually suffer from middle child syndrome or whutever they call it, but u can't help but wonder why right? so that was on my dad's side (which doesn't really have to do with labuan), so when my dad was willing to pay n all, we had to asked my mum.. n we all pretty much sure know whut happen.. so, i was excited to go to australia n the only ppl i wanted to tell was off course my frens but i couldn't... i mean how does look like to u... if i can't even go on a 2hrs flight to labuan, why could i go on an 8hrs flight to australia.. exactly..

so dat's one case, then there was jue's engagement... i just started working at ME n it was the same thing... her reason was that i should go to her wedding instead.. it kinda sux but lets just say i kinda got used to it... so the tix jue baught was still available.. so i'm not sure when but sumhow some kids way back in elementary skool decided to have a reunion in may.. honestly, i dun really give a fuck about it cuz i gave up on ppl a long time a go (hence y i'm a loner).. but last month, as may was approaching, i thought i really wanna go this time.. so i was thinking bout telling my mum that i was going of on a vacation with some of my collegues... but after a few conversations with jue, we'd thought maybe i should tell her the truth n say i was going to the reunion instead.. so the actual reunion would be on the 31st i think ( who the hell chose that date??) but i'd told my mum it'll be on the 29th instead.. so i immediately bought a one way tix back on th 30th n hoped dat things will change for once.. so last sunday we were on our way to a cls when suddenly my mum asked how many child that maznah (a girl from high skool) has.. i said i didn't noe, den my sis mentioned dat her fren already got married.. which was her bff in labuan.. so i just braught up that there will be a reunion n my mum asked if i was going n i perli la"blh ke" den i dun noe whether my sis said "mcm best je gi" or my mum asked " izad nk gi ker"... i really dunnoe which came first but a straight no was already a slim hope for me..den one thing lead to another n both my sisters decided that they too wanna go to labuan!! yeay!! (sarcastic) at first, i was like "whut the hell just happened here?" but then if they were going, there's no way my mum would back out of her words right? well sorta.. so we bought tix last nite n it was confirmed that they are going.. so when my mum got back, n while i was watching football, i just told my mum that we're all going n she asked when.. n so i said, they're going on 28th, i'm going on 27th n she asked why r u guyz going on different days... so i said jue already bought me the tix (i had a whole story planned out to back this up) but she just kept quiet.. but i knew then that it wasn't over.. so i bbm-ed my cousin n he knew how worked up i'll get about this so i wasn't really feeling it so i creid a lil n went to bed... then this morning i got a test from my sister saying that my mum asked me to cancel jue's tix n go on the same flight with them plak... n like i said there's just so much i wanna say but it's tiring... so bottomline, i got my tix on 28th, n i'll be going with them then...eventually, this too shall pass i just dunnoe when..


Blueberry, Mawilla, ayam n air kelapa @ pohon batu, nasi lemak Delihan, abc special n nasi goreng kampung medan selera...... i hope u"re still there... n not forgetting, Jue

Some People Deserves to Die

Just like Theo van Gogh, some people deserves to be brutally murdered.. Matt Stone and Trey Parker to name a few.. havn't really been a fan of South Park.. Although some jokes were indeed funny and sarcastic, there's always a line to be drawn in order to acknowledge how far is too far.. when is enough, enough.. I have to admit that i ain't religious, but i am spiritual.. i do beleive in God n all (so on and so forth) so when my religion is criticized, off course i get pissed off...

There's only that much a person can voice out n use "Freedom of Speech" as an excuse.. i mean c'mon, i can talk shit about anything n there's no really stopping me, but i wouldn't shout about it to the world.. n i deffinitely wouldn't use the media or whutsoever just to show my creativeness when i noe i would pissed off a bunch of ppl..

so really, making fun of sum1's religion or faith is seriously ain't cool.. they might sound crazy to u, but so does urs to them.. i'm actually writing this about a month or more after i started the first sentence, so i didn't really get to say whut i really felt at that moment.. but makes no diff.. bottomline is, some ppl are just so ignorant about some stuff n when they get in trouble, their fingers never points at them for the blame..


tell them that it's Human Nature

WTF Moment

i dun usually let out my anger here (or do i?), but dun u just hate it when u have all ur hopes high and u have this sort of positive vibe in u... den sum1 comes along n sorta burst dat bubble of urs unexpectedly... i was super eager to attend this training program which is basically about product knowldege, n it relates to what i'm doing n i'm pretty much sure that it could help me a lot with understanding the whole concept..yeah i do noe we have budget issues, which sux cuz that's always the excuse ppl give back when i was working with Marcus Evans hahaha... anyway my boss said (unquoting her) i dun think u shud go.. i'm just worry that u'll get lost... den cuz my line manager just signed my confirmation form, she went blabbering bout how timid i was yada yada.. fine, i might just admint i am a bit timid..i just dun like the way she says it..

anyway, not sure if i should be talking about work here.. a couple of days ago, i guess sum1 got busted or sumthing about firing their collegues n word went out silently.. not sure if having this private will help much but i guess it does...

super tired now.. still at the office n it's 7:20pm already... waiting for my sister, which i dun mind much since she's been waiting for me all these while.. was just thinking of taking back a policy to read at home, but might wanna consider that... i think i should sleep more, not that i am lacking those at the moment.. all my plans of waking up a bit early or hula hooping every night kinda fail.. we've been together for years so i betcha noe the drill by now.. on weekends i spend my time playing sims so go figures...

on another sucky note, arsenal lost to the spurs!!1 can't believe it.. i noe deep inside *pukes* dat arsenal isn't really a strong team.. i'm still stuck to their history back in 02/03.. back when there was Henry n Viera n Lehman.. i miss those times, tho i wasn't that into it at that moment.. now they dun play that well, but i just don't have the heart to switch teams hahahah barcelona sounds cool with Messi off course.. Henry's there too but he play less... n i dun really follow football besides EPL, so dunnoe much bout the spanish league.. so, yeah i dun think think they'll win the title this season, but still have my fingers crossed.. lets just hope the other 2 teams slip, with the spurs n liverpool n off course Man City...


Who's that team they call Arsenal

Smile

watched a repeat of Glee the other day where Mr Shue was kicked out of the Glee Club... this song was playing on the background which had so much meaning n which i heard more and more of after the passing of our King, Michael Jackson... it's simple yet very meaningfull.. not one who likes to link songs... i'm more of a lyricist =b


smile though your heart is aching,
smile even though it's breaking,
when there are doubts in the sky, you'll get by,
if you smile through your pain and sorrow,
smile and maybe tomorrow,
you'll see the sun come shine through, for you.

light up your face with gladness,
hide every trace of sadness,
although a tear maybe ever so near,
that's the time you must keep on trying,
smile, what's the use of crying,
you'll find that life is still worthwhile,
if you just smile.

*grins*

i likey

bored in the office while waiting for lunch.. it's Friday n Glee will continue soon.. woot!! excited to watch it.. currently obses with the guy's mash up of It's My Life n Confession Part 2.. as also their rendition of Endless Love.. heaven!!

random time.. so movies that i love to watch n cry after aka inspirational movies... top list will always be Coach Carter... who in the world wouldn't like the ending.. i noe, i'm a huge sucker for movies based on true stories but this is by far the best... at least to me.. after a smack in d face to realise with success, comes struggle.. n after working so hard to defeat their rivals, Richmond High lost.. Samuel L Jackson was awesome n he gave those 'final speach' which wasn't overrated or overdone.. it was simple yet meaningful without being all mushy n fake.. n when they walked out of their locker room to a crowd of supporters cheering for them (queue Hope by Twista feat Faith Evans) it was an amazing moment.. can't u just feel how touching it was to hold their chins up after such defeat an sumwhat disappointment at first.. *cries*

owh n another story that made me cry this morning was in the news.. about a nanny suffering 2nd n 3rd degree burns after saving a boy she babysat from a building on fire.. either it's the story itself or a superb journalism, i cried reading it (in the train, mind u hehe) it's one thing having parents rescuing their children or siblings, but this is someone unrelated to her, whom she babysat for only 2 months.. of course, sumtimes it's just pure instinct or our mind just being spontaneous, some will say, if it happen to others, they'll do d same thing... nevertheless, this act of kindness needs to be applaud *standing ovation*..

today feels good... will be catching Clash of the Titans later with the usuals ie; my sisters n Mohsin.. updated twitter for blackberry on my bb n deleted ubertweet.. although i've been using uber for a short time, was already comfortable with it's layout.. the one for bb have small display pics =b use it only to read whut A-listers r tweeting.. owh n there's also tumblr for bb which i yet will dl but havn't got a acct yet... i just dun wanna abandon u blogspot... we've been together fo so long, dated back in 2004 i think before there was any amethyst.. back then i was inasty n i was young n immature hahaha as if i'm not immature now... of course i'm not.. i've grown out of things... someday, i'll take sum time reading previous post n laugh at how young n naive i sound... till then, toodles.

West Side Story, i have vow to catch one of ur shows next month..currently have 600+ in the bank but i've saved extra 250+ this month from the usual although by right, i've actually spent more.. nevertheless, about 2 weeks to go till my next pay check n i will have a sum of money dedicated for u only, n yes, i will get good seats for us.. will be seeing u soon, can't wait.. (sorry Kelly Clarkson, there are more things more important then u, although ur songs r entertaining, some sacrifice have to be done for the greater good)

LOVE!!!

The World Could Flip 180

just something that happened which went ooposite ways..one moment i woke up from a dreadful nightmare n realising again how much she meant to me n how i really love her yada yada... next moment, i'm in the office n get a text msg from her getting all fired up cuz we didn't do our chores d day before n i felt like suffocating n shouting leave me alone..

it goes to show how things can change in a matter of seconds..

just felt like saying

Scott Roeder

so it was reported today that this man was sentenced to jail after killing a doctor who perfomed late-term abortions.. thoughts anyone?

well the issue rises again on the fairness of doing something wrong for the right reasons.. George Tiller was killing unborn babies.. and to stop him, Scott killed him.. so was Scott's actiong justified, or was it calling a kettle black? it seems more of a flaw in law itself.. since abortion wasn't illegal there, George was able to do whut he did freely without any punishment.. just because a baby isn't born yet, it doesn't mean he/she isn't alive.. the doctor's lawyer even said dat d muder was an act of domestic terrorism.. he said that women were at lost cuz they dun noe whut to do.. seriously bithces? i'll tell u whut to do.. keep ur pants on whores or just have safe sex.. it ain't the same u say? well find a guy who had a vasectomy then.. the pleasure's all yours...

as a human being, of course i think taking a person's life is unacceptable (i noe how it feels to loose someone, regardless how close i was to them) be it for the right reasons or not (mayb it's ok for d right reason =b).. practising abortion gives options to women.. and some humans are lousy with options.. i learnt economics before so i more or less noe a bit bout supply and demand.. truth is, they can't live without each other.. so if u stop providing the services, it gives them less options to do so.. sure it wouldn't have stop them completely, but it shows that it is not ok to do so.. take for instance, whut's happening closer to home with all the news bout babies found dead etc.. a fren of mine said we should give out free condoms.. cuz lets face it, ppl won't stop having sex even with or without the free distribution.. so insteaad of us having to witness hedious crimes as such, and these babies having to die for their useless parents' sins, why not let them have all the fun in the world as long as it won't burden us in the end.. but that's another story..

i guess everyone has their own opinion.. I mean, not everyone will have to face that situatuion.. n those who i knew have, did take a so-call easy way out.. off course i didn't lashed out on them cuz i noe it wouldn't make any difference, as if my thots matter that much.. but u can't help but wonder, whut is ones supposed to do then? how involve are u in it if u kept silent? u watched movies and they say things like "u're just as bad as he is".. does that apply to me too?

Of course Dr George has his own family who loves him, a set of parents maybe, a wife n children.. n they all must have felt his loss deeply.. but on the other hand, it goes in line with whut he do.. just cuz a mother @ father said thay dun want this baby, does it make it ok to terminate him/her altogether? why can't u just wait till the baby himself/herself is born n ask him/her, do u want to live? n if they say no, then just kill them.. so really, how will u feel if u found out that u were a mistake n if it wasn't for the law or anything, u wouldn't be here... breathing, eating, loving and doing anything simple.. won't these babies be better of with foster parents who might have yearn to have a baby but couldn't.. whut gives u the right to determine who should live n who shouldn't..

but then again, i ain't perfect either..


Everyday, I thank Allah for everyday things like the ability to breathe, the ability to love, the ability to laugh, and the ability to eat and drink.
-Yasmin Ahmad-

who would have thoguht that those words could hurt so much..

I'll always love you till there's no more me

it's been a year already... i do still think of him sometimes... i remember the emotions i felt that day... how overwhelming they were... how hard i cried n how short each breath was.. i guess the thing that i miss most about him is his pressence itself.. i guess that's the only thing u can't have back.. u can look back at pictures n remember how he looks like.. or watch old videos to hear his voice.. but it's the moment when u're in a room with him, in his presence, that's special... maybe it's not just him... it's evrybody, anybody that u lost... sometimes i live in fear of knowing whut will eventually happen.. i can't really prepare myself for that.. the people i love most, dearest to me... it just hurts sometimes.. n i feel dumb of even thinking about it in the first place.. but it's inevitable, i just can't help it..


i miss u