i miss u like hell

i'm almost in tears becuz i'm weird n emo like dat.. dis is 4 u jue.. i noe we havn't really been in touch for quite sum time now, as in really had a talk.. i'm genuinely sorry for that.. n now, when u might be facing the toughest time ever, i dun feel like i've been there for u as i should have.. i promise i'll make it up 2 u.. i juz read ur post n i think i understand where u're getting at.. u're not ready yet.. but really, who is? u can make arrangements and plan a huge wedding (or an engagement) for a year, but when that moment comes, how ready will you be? the butterflies will be there, the second thought will for sure be there, it's just the matter of taking that first n crucial step.. the 1st step dat u anticipated ur whole life, be it now or d next 5 years.. n when u do take dat chance, u'll embrace the moment becuz it's urs.. it might not be what u expected but at least u're getting there..

we both noe i'm d least suitable person 2 talk about this.. given d lack of history i have.. but who cares =p so lets do this one by one k..

whut if u find some else? someone better? when will that be? a week after ur engagement? a month? or a year? but whut if u don't? lets take a step back here.. is ur main concern loosing a batter shot at happy endings? or is it on cheating him? bottom line, it's not something dat is certain.. it may or may not happen.. but if it does, we'll figure out sumthing together..

u want a stagnant relationship? where's d fun in dat? u dun want him 2 change, yet u're not satisfy wif d way he is now? so, u want him 2 stay like dis forever? out of all ur serious relationshipS, i noe him less.. so i'm not really sure to what extent is he 'suffocating' u.. i can't really guess whut he'll be like after this.. but whut i'm sure is dat change is good.. it's just how u handle it n make out of it dat matters.. find sumthing dat u truly love about him, dat made u stay wif him for this long, n hang on to it.. as for d opposites, lets just look at d glass as half full for d time being.. if it's something u can tolerate now, it'll be a norm later.. but if it's not, den why r u wif him??? hahahah

n feelings? u're not excited to marry him as oppose to ad, posoi, man....? by dat, do u realise sumthing? list down nani's characteristics, den ad, posoi, man... u might find (from my point of view) d things u dislike about ur former bfs is dat they hurt u, be it physically or emotionally.. whereas for nani, it's jus d things dat he's paranoid about becuz he loves u.. n again, i dun really noe him or d rest for dat matter, so i might be wrong..

this might be a bit outdated, since u said u've accepted this.. i hope this doesn't make u feel worse... dat wasn't really whut i aimed for =p i hope it works out good for u.. i have 2 say i won't be there physically, but i'll hold ur hand dat day *kening2* (still xphm ker?) whutever it is, u noe we'll look out for u, both me n kin..