it never gets easy

yesterday was April Fools' Day.. the thing about it is dat we sumtimes wished that sum1 was pranking us.. take yesterday for example.. my dad's uncle passed.. the second i noticed him stop breathing, i was hoping dat he'd wake up n say 'gotcha'.. but then the doctor came along with 2 nurses.. no one was laughing.. it was no joke.. he was gone..

the thing about death is, no matter how often it occurs, it never gets easier.. i was almost hyperventilating yesterday.. i was never in the same room with the angel of death.. it was indeed the first time i witness sum1 taking their last breath.. it was hard.. my sister was kinda mad at me for not calling her earlier to tell her that he was critical.. it got me thinking, what would u like ur last memory of him be? would u like to see him almost well, him seeing u come 2 visit, holding his hand n tell him to rest cuz it hurts to tell him u love him? or would u rather see him suffer n watch him die?

i dun wanna choose