:: latest update ::

mood : unfocused
music : dahsboard confessionals - vindicated

i'm on my holidays now, for 1 week. my mum is not around, she's in mekah tgh umrah =D 1st of, lemme tell u the latest thing that happened. i was in a small accident twice today. which both happened in less than 30 mins. n i dare to say both of 'em wasn't my fault. sum guy reversed n bang into my car n broke the front light which cost rm220 to fix. my dad was wif me at dat moment n they exchange numbers so i'm thinking that he's gonna refund it. the next accident was after i dropped my dad for work. it wasn't that serious but it caused a little dent n scratches along the back of the car. sum guy juz came out of a juction without stopping. i juz continued to drive since i wasn't in the mood to check anything, n iwas pretty sure the guy's car wasn't badly damaged. i wouldn't care less either way since it was his fault. i sent the car to the workshop n waited more than an hour. whut a way to start my day.

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on April 9, my family (with the exception of my dad) went to watch the Disney on Ice. it was a good show, but honestly saying, it was abit like the 100th anniversary of Disney. the only difference was that the show included Finding Nemo n The Incredibles. all n all, i'd rate it 8/10. that's considered good rite.

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my elder sister came back dat week juz to watch Disney on Ice, but we even went to the movies. we watched Inside Man along wif my mum, n watched Lucky Number Slevin.both movies were absolutely best =b Inside Man was about a robbery n Lucky Number Slevin was about sum guy who wanted revenge for his parents death. i'd rate both movies 9/10.

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i'd finish about rm38 to call adib 2 nites ago. time pass by so fast. we might be hanging out 2morrow night. i havn't seen Jue n Shikin for 2/3 months now. the last time we hung out was in january for Shikin's birthday. we're suppose to go out this saturday but we'll see how things go. Jue has sum house problem with her housemates. she gotta find sumwhere else to stay. feel sorry for her but i dun't think there's much dat i can do to help her.

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my parents might be going for haji next yr. i remeber asking my mum if my dad was prepared, cuz let's face it, i noe him. they went to a haji course last sunday. so he's making sum effort. i gotta tell u this, last night, i head my dad trying to mengaji. i think he was reading iq'ra (i think that's it) cuz the words were short. i was about to watch tv at dat time. i heard his voice n i thot dat he was on the phone but dat wasn't possible cuz the house phone was outside his room n he has no hp. so when i listened carefully, i heard him. immediately, tears flow from my eyes. i was crying, well, more like sobbing. it makes me wonder how's it like for him to be there next yr. honestly, iwasn't really sure how wuz i feeling. wuz i sorry for him, sad for him, i dun't noe. but whut i do noe is dat it hurts. it hurts so bad i can't een describe it. i wrote sumthing after dat juz to calm down a bit n get it off my chest. maybe i'll post it later. after writing, i realised that i was crying more for me than for him. stuck2 tau dier baca, mcm he wuz doing his best. then lamer2 fikir gak lar, am i like dat? it's been awhile since i mengaji, i dunnoe if i still can. it felt like i was watching sumone helpless, but having the will to achieve. i really dun't noe. i felt guilty after dat, mcm bertaubat. but now, i didn't do anything to change. i juz feel stoopid n like i'm such an idiot not to realise who i am. i keep getting these hints, these signs n motivation but yet i did nothing. nothing. n now i'm starting to wonder, how can i live wif myself. this might not be as complicated as i made them. i guess those 2 accidents were a few of the signs. i noe i'm suppose to be grateful. i am. indeed. i jus hav sum difficulty of showing it. it doesn't take much actualy. 1 min in the bathroom for wuduk, 10 mins on the sejadah, to pray. repeat that 5 times a day n it'll only take about 1 hour of my 24 hours given in a day. n do i make an effort? no. whut kind a person am i?