Smile

watched a repeat of Glee the other day where Mr Shue was kicked out of the Glee Club... this song was playing on the background which had so much meaning n which i heard more and more of after the passing of our King, Michael Jackson... it's simple yet very meaningfull.. not one who likes to link songs... i'm more of a lyricist =b


smile though your heart is aching,
smile even though it's breaking,
when there are doubts in the sky, you'll get by,
if you smile through your pain and sorrow,
smile and maybe tomorrow,
you'll see the sun come shine through, for you.

light up your face with gladness,
hide every trace of sadness,
although a tear maybe ever so near,
that's the time you must keep on trying,
smile, what's the use of crying,
you'll find that life is still worthwhile,
if you just smile.

*grins*

i likey

bored in the office while waiting for lunch.. it's Friday n Glee will continue soon.. woot!! excited to watch it.. currently obses with the guy's mash up of It's My Life n Confession Part 2.. as also their rendition of Endless Love.. heaven!!

random time.. so movies that i love to watch n cry after aka inspirational movies... top list will always be Coach Carter... who in the world wouldn't like the ending.. i noe, i'm a huge sucker for movies based on true stories but this is by far the best... at least to me.. after a smack in d face to realise with success, comes struggle.. n after working so hard to defeat their rivals, Richmond High lost.. Samuel L Jackson was awesome n he gave those 'final speach' which wasn't overrated or overdone.. it was simple yet meaningful without being all mushy n fake.. n when they walked out of their locker room to a crowd of supporters cheering for them (queue Hope by Twista feat Faith Evans) it was an amazing moment.. can't u just feel how touching it was to hold their chins up after such defeat an sumwhat disappointment at first.. *cries*

owh n another story that made me cry this morning was in the news.. about a nanny suffering 2nd n 3rd degree burns after saving a boy she babysat from a building on fire.. either it's the story itself or a superb journalism, i cried reading it (in the train, mind u hehe) it's one thing having parents rescuing their children or siblings, but this is someone unrelated to her, whom she babysat for only 2 months.. of course, sumtimes it's just pure instinct or our mind just being spontaneous, some will say, if it happen to others, they'll do d same thing... nevertheless, this act of kindness needs to be applaud *standing ovation*..

today feels good... will be catching Clash of the Titans later with the usuals ie; my sisters n Mohsin.. updated twitter for blackberry on my bb n deleted ubertweet.. although i've been using uber for a short time, was already comfortable with it's layout.. the one for bb have small display pics =b use it only to read whut A-listers r tweeting.. owh n there's also tumblr for bb which i yet will dl but havn't got a acct yet... i just dun wanna abandon u blogspot... we've been together fo so long, dated back in 2004 i think before there was any amethyst.. back then i was inasty n i was young n immature hahaha as if i'm not immature now... of course i'm not.. i've grown out of things... someday, i'll take sum time reading previous post n laugh at how young n naive i sound... till then, toodles.

West Side Story, i have vow to catch one of ur shows next month..currently have 600+ in the bank but i've saved extra 250+ this month from the usual although by right, i've actually spent more.. nevertheless, about 2 weeks to go till my next pay check n i will have a sum of money dedicated for u only, n yes, i will get good seats for us.. will be seeing u soon, can't wait.. (sorry Kelly Clarkson, there are more things more important then u, although ur songs r entertaining, some sacrifice have to be done for the greater good)

LOVE!!!

The World Could Flip 180

just something that happened which went ooposite ways..one moment i woke up from a dreadful nightmare n realising again how much she meant to me n how i really love her yada yada... next moment, i'm in the office n get a text msg from her getting all fired up cuz we didn't do our chores d day before n i felt like suffocating n shouting leave me alone..

it goes to show how things can change in a matter of seconds..

just felt like saying

Scott Roeder

so it was reported today that this man was sentenced to jail after killing a doctor who perfomed late-term abortions.. thoughts anyone?

well the issue rises again on the fairness of doing something wrong for the right reasons.. George Tiller was killing unborn babies.. and to stop him, Scott killed him.. so was Scott's actiong justified, or was it calling a kettle black? it seems more of a flaw in law itself.. since abortion wasn't illegal there, George was able to do whut he did freely without any punishment.. just because a baby isn't born yet, it doesn't mean he/she isn't alive.. the doctor's lawyer even said dat d muder was an act of domestic terrorism.. he said that women were at lost cuz they dun noe whut to do.. seriously bithces? i'll tell u whut to do.. keep ur pants on whores or just have safe sex.. it ain't the same u say? well find a guy who had a vasectomy then.. the pleasure's all yours...

as a human being, of course i think taking a person's life is unacceptable (i noe how it feels to loose someone, regardless how close i was to them) be it for the right reasons or not (mayb it's ok for d right reason =b).. practising abortion gives options to women.. and some humans are lousy with options.. i learnt economics before so i more or less noe a bit bout supply and demand.. truth is, they can't live without each other.. so if u stop providing the services, it gives them less options to do so.. sure it wouldn't have stop them completely, but it shows that it is not ok to do so.. take for instance, whut's happening closer to home with all the news bout babies found dead etc.. a fren of mine said we should give out free condoms.. cuz lets face it, ppl won't stop having sex even with or without the free distribution.. so insteaad of us having to witness hedious crimes as such, and these babies having to die for their useless parents' sins, why not let them have all the fun in the world as long as it won't burden us in the end.. but that's another story..

i guess everyone has their own opinion.. I mean, not everyone will have to face that situatuion.. n those who i knew have, did take a so-call easy way out.. off course i didn't lashed out on them cuz i noe it wouldn't make any difference, as if my thots matter that much.. but u can't help but wonder, whut is ones supposed to do then? how involve are u in it if u kept silent? u watched movies and they say things like "u're just as bad as he is".. does that apply to me too?

Of course Dr George has his own family who loves him, a set of parents maybe, a wife n children.. n they all must have felt his loss deeply.. but on the other hand, it goes in line with whut he do.. just cuz a mother @ father said thay dun want this baby, does it make it ok to terminate him/her altogether? why can't u just wait till the baby himself/herself is born n ask him/her, do u want to live? n if they say no, then just kill them.. so really, how will u feel if u found out that u were a mistake n if it wasn't for the law or anything, u wouldn't be here... breathing, eating, loving and doing anything simple.. won't these babies be better of with foster parents who might have yearn to have a baby but couldn't.. whut gives u the right to determine who should live n who shouldn't..

but then again, i ain't perfect either..


Everyday, I thank Allah for everyday things like the ability to breathe, the ability to love, the ability to laugh, and the ability to eat and drink.
-Yasmin Ahmad-

who would have thoguht that those words could hurt so much..

I'll always love you till there's no more me

it's been a year already... i do still think of him sometimes... i remember the emotions i felt that day... how overwhelming they were... how hard i cried n how short each breath was.. i guess the thing that i miss most about him is his pressence itself.. i guess that's the only thing u can't have back.. u can look back at pictures n remember how he looks like.. or watch old videos to hear his voice.. but it's the moment when u're in a room with him, in his presence, that's special... maybe it's not just him... it's evrybody, anybody that u lost... sometimes i live in fear of knowing whut will eventually happen.. i can't really prepare myself for that.. the people i love most, dearest to me... it just hurts sometimes.. n i feel dumb of even thinking about it in the first place.. but it's inevitable, i just can't help it..


i miss u

Bloody Hell

so here's the scoop... Maybank had it's blood drive yesterday, n i'm not sure if you know this but i was trying to dontae my blood for like years.. sumthing about needles that gets me excited.. i really like the pain... n so far, the only pain i get from a needle is when i pierce n i have 6 peircings altogether, 3 on each ear... back when i was in KDU, they'd organised the same thing but i was underweight at that time, (u have to be more than 45kg) so i only manage to get students name n helped out a bit.. so yesterday was officially my first time to donate blood... and also my first time to blackout, but i'll just put that aside for the time being.. we'll get to that later... so i went down n filled up a form.. went to test my blood type, n found out i was a type B... den went to the next table to check my blood preassure which was fine n all, n registered... so now i have this little red book to prove it.. then i proceed to the chairs where we had to lay down for the big thing...the nurse straped my arm so dat my vein will pop out i suppose, then rubbed some kind of liquid there n took out her needle.. it kinda made my skin have this bubble inside n i was fiscinated that i didn't even notice she took out another needle which was bigger than i expected..it kinda shocked me but i didn't have time to react.. i guess that's why they had this bubble in my skin so that the big needle could fit in easily... so i spent like 10 minutes just pumping my hand so that the blood would flow...n when i was done, i rested for 5 mins b4 getting up to get a drink.. i didn't feel dizzy or anything so i just took the hot milo that they prepared.. they had bread as well but i didn't take it n i that was a huge mistake.. as the milo was hot for me, i only drank half of it... then i went back to the office n continue working... later dat day on my way home, i felt something different while in the train.. i felt like sitting down but there was no empty seats left so i just stand up.. n when there was only 1 station left, i felt very weak to the point i could no longer raise my hand.. it got blurry when the speaker said the next station was tmn bahagia, so when the trian stopped, i just knew i had to get out.. i really thought that i could make it to the seats, but apparently i was wrong... everything went blurry n the moment i touched the wall to get a hang of myself, i blackout.. i wouldn't say i stumbled but i had to sit to contain myself... 2 girls came up to check on me n they took me to sit for awhile.. without having to lie down, i could still feel like passing out so with all the energy i had left, i took out my purse n asked for a drink.. u see this usually happen to me but not to this extent.. it always happen at home so i usually get the chance to sit down or lie down in time, n give and take a few minutes, i was fine again.. i usually have a drink to.. last time it happened in public, i was in Gulati's at jln TAR.. i felt dizzy, maybe cuz i didn't eat that much, so i just sat down in a corner n breathe in deep breath.. so it was fine.. i never really get to that point where i really felt like passing out.. so yeah, yesterday was the first for two things.. anyway, i settled for a few minutes, n d 2 girls took me downstairs.. i was feeling a bit better n managed to cross the road without having to stop traffic =b deffintely a good experience for me.. so my advice, always get some rest n eat after donating blood hehehe

i hope this world could be a better place

i don't know what to say

i've had my fair share of being immature.. it may sound fun n cool or hip, whutever u call it, at that time.. but really... looking back on things, i felt so dumb about it.. it started out as something unimportant n irrelevant to u... but play along with it, n it eats u up... u can't help but get hooked to it n somehow, at some point, it became a part of u... the slightest thing can trigger u n make u react.. suddenly u burst n say things dat contradict each other.. u dun care, yet why are u ticked?

well i guess some people just wants drama.. they think their life is a lil wee dull without it.. i'm not sure if i've passed dat phase of life yet but i think i could settle with what i have now.. i'm very close to my family n i wouldn't have it any other way... i dun go out much n hang out with my frens but i do appreciate the ones i have now.. sure sometimes i feel distance, but i'm kinda used to it.. for the time being, i really enjoy just going out with my family especially my sisters.. so yeah, i guess whut i have now is pretty much enough for me.. so i dun think i'd dwell into petty things or being totally immature about it..


i dun wanna loose my family.. i love them so much =D

for you i will

ye2.. nnt kiter upload pics2.. mls nk upload byk2 but i'll filter maner2 yg kiter rs ok la right..





so anyway, went to Disney on Ice which was fun.. as expected, it was a bit similar with the few shows that i went before, but i never seem to get enough of it.. i literally grew up wif disneys' cartoon so i'm head over heels for 'em, especially the princesses.. no wait, cut that.. especially Aladdin.. i'm totally in love wif him, n brad kane's voice is heaven... *drools* but there was no princesses this time, just The Incredibles... so yeah, we did enjoyed ourselves.. although getting out of the parking area was like hell, it was still worth it..

honey... where's my supersuit??

so much to say, to tired to care

i dun really feel like blogging even tho i hav quite a few things to say.. i'll try to pour everything out while i getting into details only when i feel like it.. first of, as noticed, i dun hav a post about my new blackberry..it's cuz i actually have a post reserved which i saved but was just waiting for pix.. being me, i keep delaying things n up until now, i dun have a pic of my bb yet.. so, dat'll be up some other time..

next, we went to Ipoh last saturday n boy, was it hot or what..i noe we currently have this heat wave thing were temperature are rising everywhere, but saturday was almost unbareable.. the heat was literally burning my skin.. as if i'm not charcoal enuff already.. anyway, we drove to Ipoh, was out the house around 8:30am.. along the way, it was raining on and off so it was a pretty cool ride.. wasn't really heaty n all.. MJ was on so it was enjoyable.. owh my mum had to pass cuz she had class.. reached there by 11am i think.. met a few cousins who came along.. was starting to sweat but the fan helped cool things down a bit.. then when it was time, we drove to arul's house n that's when the heat was rushing thru.. we had to park a few yards away from is house (how far is a yard anyway?) cuz off course we need to walk a distance 1st b4 reaching d place.. n i hav 2 say, it was hot as hell... skins started to burn n all n i could feel my face turning red, as in trying to blend in with the way i felt yada yada... anyway, had lunch, which was nice.. took pics again.. stayed a few more minutes or so n went back.. which we had to walk d same distance.. good thing was went we reached the homestay, aunt wahidah baught cendol (again) n abc which was like heaven.. had a few servings i think.. n even tho we just had lunch, n it wasn't even time for high tea yet, it was a much needed course indeed.. lepak a few more hours before we headed back home... owh uncle zul was also there, whom i rarely meet.. family history, dun feel like telling.. mohsin stayed overnight for golf (what else)

so work has been interesting...NOT.. some1 pls teach me how to force myself to like this job.. it's not just whut i do but the nature of it really... i can't seem to relate to this environment, treasury in particular.. as my new boss says, can u appreciate the things we have here?? so yeah, i rephrase that but whut the hell, i noe whut she means... how will the things that go on here impact me? recently there was an increase in OPR (which i yet have to grasp its full meaning) whut do i see of it? whut implications can i come out, out of that? i noe there's still a lot to learn, i just need that teacher to do so.. but then lets just face it.. this ain't a university.. u learn things differently here.. no more lecture ok.. anyway, we were told that we'll have to go thru BAU 1st before we could really start doing project, which i agree.. i didn't have enuff time to learn things here, n i can't really configure a system without knowing whut i want or whut should be done etc..i just hope that this decision came sooner.. maybe i was supposed to voice this out, but it didn't really occur to me this way..so yeah, i'll be learning more things coming next week.. previously, i was only doing the intraday n cob reprt.. so i just noe roughly bout a few things.. so far i could understand bits here and there about some stuff..i havn't really come to that stage where i see it as a whole picture.. i've only got fragments of it in my mind...i noe i'm supposed to ask more questions, it's just beside the normal why? i'm not really sure whut am i suppose to know.. which might be the dumbest thing ever...

sigh.. that was more then i bargain for..anyway, i'm always tired now.. i'm not sure if it's the things i do or the unhealthy lifestyle i live =b i feel like i need a good massage.. how heaven will that be..i've been doing some hula hoop recently.. not consistently but maybe more than whut i manage to do last year..last 2 weeks, i tried to do it everyday n watch the portion of my food.. as a result, i manage to fit in my baju kurung for sara's wedding (if i didn't mention it earlier) but off course la ade tight sket =b den did a bit last week... took a day off on monday just to lay back..plus i had an extra day of leave dat i carried forward frm last year... i manage the hula till 20 mins i think.. but confirm, 5 songs... was thinking of waking up a bit earlier each morning, to do 15mins everyday, but then again, me being me.... the biggest loser asia finale pretty much sux.. not worth mentioning... watched Alice in Wonderland by Tim Burton in 3D.. gav a bit of a headache with d extra glasses.. this saturday, will be catching Disney On Ice (again!!) hopefully we scored good seats like last time.. kelly clarkson will come over next month.. still undecided whether to go or not.. it's outdoor so it might sux like avril.. but then again, we baught the cheapest tix.. so u pay peanuts.....on the other hand, West Side Story will be here in May...sounds very interesting yet cost a whole lot more then i could afford.. if u wanna catch a show, might as well make it worth it kn? so if i manage to save up a bit (have i ever?) with whut's left of this month n next month, then i might just go... we'll see...



fucking tired

Sara's Married!!!

it's currently raining heavily outside n i'm stuck in d office cuz i can't bare walking in the rain =s so while i have nothing to do, i guess i'll just update this with a post about saras' wedding.. it was anticipated for some time, n when it was finally here, it went by so fast...

before i dwell on dat, just wanted to mention bout the occasion on d night before.. it was my boss's last day in d office n we decided to buy a cake just to have a small gathering as a token for his service throughout the year (padahal br kerje ngn dier 3bln) so i emailed jackie to get her permission on this n she replied while i was in a meeting.. keeping it short, we had no cake at 4:30pm but sent out invites nevertheless for 5pm...Hani n i went downstairs, hoping to get a cake at starbux but they didn't sell any whole cake except if we pre book it first.. so we had to walked all the way to central market for secret recipe.. we managed to have the gathering after everyone settled down, n i'll just say dat 30mins of cake hunting in the heat was worth it =b den our division had dinner at TGIf Pavillion where i shared a meal wif hani cuz i dun think i can stomuch all dat food what with me not fitting into my baju kurung for sara's wedding n all...


so come Friday, the big day, we got ready n went to klang aroung 11am+... reached there n helped out a bit... solemnization starts at 3pm so we changed n made sure the bride was ready.... everything went well n sara n arul was finally married...loads of pics were taken, where as usual won't be posted here cuz i pemalas (just check out fb) after we had high tea, n there was this small panic where there was no enough food n drinks, we went back to freshen up... later that night we had a small tahlil, n dinner... stayed back till around 11pm+ i think but i was already sleepy...

so next day, we had to wake up a bit early than usual cuz dier khatam quran.. so we reached klang around 10am, n luckily too cuz then we mnaged to had brunch n i ate quite a lot.. the reception started around 12+ i think, that's when ppl started to arrive n all... arul came at 1pm n they took pics n all (u noe d drill) d best part was cendol i think... had 2 servings hahaha didn't manage to have my 2nd round of lunch cuz there wasn't enough food which totally sux.. i hate it when that happen... time kak fariza n kak fashira nyer wedding pon samer gk, but time tu lg teruk cuz xmkn langsung huhuhuh but late that evening, papa went to buy fried chicken so we had our late lunch... lapar siot kot.. but it wasn't the same... there was high tea too as well as birthday cake (dis week byk mkn cake) n later dat night we had a simple dinner n sara n arul opened their presents... hmmm i kinda make this sound soo boring, but we actually had fun... i miss my kazens n it was nice hanging out with them.. i think i didn't do justice to the ceremony, so i might post up pics.. but then again, maybe not =b yesterday some of us had dinner again with the newly weds..looking forward to this coming weekend.. going to ipoh, bertandang!!

welcome to our family arul!!