Backstreet's Back Alrite!!

yesterday was an exhausting yet awesome day.. class started last week n i'm taking 3 subjects this sem, IM, MDP (deja vu??) and HRM.. so far all classes seems ok but i have tons of work to do compared to last sem.. so i had class from 8 till 11 yesterday but we finished earlier.. i went home to rest a bit then got ready to have lunch with my family at OU.. it wasn't anyhting special actually but i had dim sum which my mum approve so i need not worry now to eat there.. then we shopped for stuff at Giant an after 2 hours there, we went back home.. i slept for an hour then took a bath n prepared for the night ahead.. whut's up?? well, since i dun usually have fun n excited activities in my life, i was looking forward to this nite for a week.. Backstreet Boys are having a concert here in KL at Sunway Lagoon Surf Beach.. yeah!! i went with my sis n we left around 5pm i think.. the show supposedly starts at 8pm so we had much time to get there n hang around a bit.. it was raining on the way there n i prayed that it stopped when the show starts..

anyway, Sunway Pyramid had a lotta things done the last time i went there.. i was totally lost.. we bought umbrellas juz in case, n i bought a hat juz for fun.. it's not that i'll wear it often tho.. it felt a lil weird since i'm not used to it.. so we went down later to grab sumthing to eat n head to Sunway Lagoon entrance.. turns out, we had to go to McD n KFC area for the entrance so after looking at the map, we decided to take the car n park sumwhere nearer cuz we didn't want to be so far away from everyone else once the show end.. so we took our car n were looking for another parking space then realise that even the carpark was totally different.. we tought there were no where else to park besides where we just were so found another parking space n made our way to McD.. turns out, we took the long way there since we didn't know there was actually a short cut.. damn.. anyway, we walked out n saw this super duper long line to the entrance.. yikes.. by the time we went in, it was almost 8pm.. my sis didn't mind the crowd so we cramped ourselves againts everyone else.. owh bdw, when going to a concert at the surf beach, never, i reapeat NEVER, wear heels.. yup, i wore heels there thinking i'd get a better view if i was a bit taller than everyone else.. i didn't think that the surf beach literally meant beach.. duh... i never went there ok, so sue me.. not juz that, even the stage was higher than us n i mean slightly on a hill.. lemme put it this way, u're in a cinema rite, but instead of the normal screen lower infront of u, imagine the screen behind u n turn around.. so see how is it difficult for ppl at the back to see the stage.. i magine dat, plus a huge guy in front of u.. my view was completely blocked!! damn it.. luckily my sis told me to squeezed in in front of her n after a lil shifting here n there, both of us had n ok view..

so a typical concert in malaysia would start about an hour late n diz was no exception.. it started at 9pm but after the show ended, everything was worth it.. it was worth paying rm88 for the tix, worth the time we walked n looked for a car park, waiting in line, having to take my shoes off n be barefoot cuz my heels would sink if i didn't.. EVERYTHING.. i had a great time n i'm sure my sis did too n all the other ppl who were there...BSB sang a lot of their old songs which was all i knew of.. their latest song that i know were only incomplete n inconsolable.. hehehhe... they opened with larger than life n ended it with shape of my heart.. weird song for an encore but who cares.. other songs that they sang were the one, the call, show me the meaning of being lonely, everyone, i want it that way, more than that and a medley of as long as you love me, all i have to give, i'll never break your heart and .. then each of them sang a song from their album... i could say that was by far the best concert i've ever been to other that the force of nature which they were also at..

after the show end, my sis and i bought a bottle of mineral water which cost us rm4 then realised that we had no money left to pay for or parking.. so we searched for an atm machine which only had 50 notes so my sis withdrawed rm50 n it turns out that the machine doesn't accept 50 notes so i digged up my bag for coins which thankfully was enough.. it was so tiring that i didn't even bath when i got home.. hahah... smelly me.. so that was my day at an awesome an amazing concert.. it was a flashback to the 90's indeed.. i had a lot of fun.. so class has started n i'll try to update this blog as often as i can... it's gonna be a busy sem so dun expect much aight..

xoxo

locked lips and locked eyes

who would've thought the latter would be more difficult.. yesterday, my mum and i went to pay my fees at KDU and later went to OU to buy movie tix for friday.. since there were plenty of time left, we decided to stop by at Lovely Lace.. dat's like my mum's fave store ever lol.. so on our way back, we were stopped by this couple from karangkraft.. there was going to be a small get to gether among Dunia Baru cast ( a series) with a few of their fans, n d girl asked if i wanted to join them, so i said yes.. so i followed them to the reptile exhibition n waited for d rest to arrive.. we went to Kluang Station 4 a while to get sum drinks n was joined by Iqram (d only cast who turned up).. so a couple of minutes later, we went up n started taking pictures with the animals there, mainly snakes..so to keep it short, there was 1 time when they told me to stand next to Iqram near a cage with what appears to be a small tapir.. apparently d pictures didn't turn out well so we took another shot near d iguana cage... so, we were sitting opposite of each other n we were suppose to look at each other... d thing is i felt very awkward juz gazing into his eyes dat i felt stupid everytime d cameraman had to correct d position of my face... n Iqram was also like "look at me, dun look anywhere else.. he wants d right angle." n i was like getting all anxious n uncomfortable for a minute... i wasn't prepared for this thus lack of make-up.. i could feel my lips getting dry... n he was looking at me straight in to my eyes making me more uncomfortable... ok so maybe it's not a big deal, i mean i'm not really his fan... but i felt stupid.. how hard is it to actually look into sum1's eyes?? n to think dat i'd be good at acting.. think again girl, it's a tough job.. anyway, i'm not sure if my heart did a flip back then but i deffinitely dun wanna go thru dat again... at least not in front of a camera.. n i'd rather kiss him =b i juz think dat'll be easier.. eyes closed n all.. u noe d drill... so dat's the small update so far... i'll keep u posted

cheers
xoxo

Happy New Year

happy new year everyone!! hopefully good things will come ur way this year n may it be a blessing 4 u =)

so apart from partying and drinking n whatever people do in order to celebrate n greet this new year, they also make new resolution to sumhow achieve goals to supposedly improve themselves.. well, i havn't really been those who make resolution cuz i noe that i won't do my best to try n make it happen... how bout a change then, i thought... so last night before i go 2 bed, i squeeze my brain to think of things dat i would like to do this year... so after listing points n making them general so it'll be easier for me 2 start, i've decided on a few things dat i could do... so these r my new year resolution;

1) eat reasonable amount of food n exercise, at least once a month
2) spend more time studying instead of sleeping, listening to music n day dreaming
3) make more effort to practice playing the guitar, since u waited years 2 actually buy it
4) post more entry in my blog, at least once a month or once a fortnight

lastly

5) make more friends as i realized i have none =b

achievable?? hopefully... wish me luck aight.. have a good year....

241MyFavouriteLover

you were younger than me,
i knew from the start that we were never meant to be,
besides u're the boyfren of my sisters' bestfren,
one way or another, they're gonna find out in the end.

but we tried our luck anyway and juz go with the flow,
how long will it last? well none of us will ever noe,
so far so good we thot so we juz carried on,
seeing each other at night till the break of dawn.

time is precious with every moment spent with you,
we laughed together at the stupid things we do,
juz seeing you makes me feel happy,
it's different from what i feel with that guy, lee.

you make me forget the people i hate,
even that bitch in college that i could never relate,
i really like those feelings, it's a feeling i'll never forget,
both loving you and being loved by you, how much better can it get.

then one day i received a call from you,
from the tone of your voice, it was bad news, i knew,
she suspects sumthing so i want this to stop,
those words u said juz made my heart drop.

i won't say that my world came crashing down cuz it didn't,
my feelings for you never changed but i kept them hidden,
there were times when i got mad and tried to hate you,
but then the opposite of love is not hate but to not care about the person you do.

so after awhile i thot that things will be juz like it used to be,
pretending the past didn't happen and i was juz simply free,
but the thot of you kept haunting me, they won't leave me alone,
and there were times i caught myself staring at your name on my phone.

the more i think of you the more i miss you, how can i make this feeling go away,
i know you belong to another but please give me the chance to say,
being with you was wonderful but yet i regret that it happen,
cuz as much as i wanted to, yuo're not easily forgotten.

this thing was expected so why do i feel this way,
reminiscing the times we shared, owh how i wish you'd juz stay,
but now you're gone and i realised in time,
that i still love you so much even tho u were never mine.


xoxo

november 16, 2007

i bought my own guitar today


finally

.death.

for the past 19 years or so, i've always been afraid of dying.. the thought of being lifeless juz haunts me.. last year, i lost 3 loved ones.. 2 uncles n an aunt.. but now,cum 2 think of it, i fear losing the people i luv more than dying itself.. i'm not religious so i can't really imagine whut i'll go thru 'on d other side'.. but the pain i felt wuz hard to bear.. tho i was never close to them, i still find myself missing them... whut about them i miss, i myself dun noe..

last friday, a kid wuz in an accident.. he passed away 2hrs later (it was 4am).. he happened to be my sis's fren.. i've only met him a couple of times.. tho i dun noe him personnally, his death touched me so deep.. he was an active student in skool n basically loved by all.. i didn't attend his funeral but according to my mum n sis, his house was packed with people paying their last respect.. this includes teachers and juniors from high skool.. they all lined up juz 2 get a last look at him.. i imagine that n say "i wanna live his life"

cuz when this happens at ur funeral, u'll noe u lived a wonderful life where all these people not only juz noe u, but also loved n care for u.. it's a funeral i'd dream of having, but i guess won't be happening.. whenever i get in d emotional zone, i'll think of all the possibilities bout the future.. i thought dat if i were to die today, there would actually only be 2 person dat i noe who would be there (minus my family) n if my spirit were to witness this funeral, how sad it would be.. it makes me wonder if my life actually was worth sumthing , or am i juz another human being wasting the oxigen in d air..

i once read an article which writes "u're considered lucky if u hav at least 5 true frens when u die".. but i could only think of 2..i guess i'm unlucky.. sure i hav other frens, but i dun think my death would effect them much.. matter fact, it might not even make any difference to them.. the worse part is, they dun even noe dat u're gone.. which this might be my case.. am i too bad of a person?? would anyone actually wept at my death.. does any1 even care?? cuz i doubt dat..


>izwan ikmal arif, i envy u<

#####

:: latest update ::

mood : unfocused
music : dahsboard confessionals - vindicated

i'm on my holidays now, for 1 week. my mum is not around, she's in mekah tgh umrah =D 1st of, lemme tell u the latest thing that happened. i was in a small accident twice today. which both happened in less than 30 mins. n i dare to say both of 'em wasn't my fault. sum guy reversed n bang into my car n broke the front light which cost rm220 to fix. my dad was wif me at dat moment n they exchange numbers so i'm thinking that he's gonna refund it. the next accident was after i dropped my dad for work. it wasn't that serious but it caused a little dent n scratches along the back of the car. sum guy juz came out of a juction without stopping. i juz continued to drive since i wasn't in the mood to check anything, n iwas pretty sure the guy's car wasn't badly damaged. i wouldn't care less either way since it was his fault. i sent the car to the workshop n waited more than an hour. whut a way to start my day.

***

on April 9, my family (with the exception of my dad) went to watch the Disney on Ice. it was a good show, but honestly saying, it was abit like the 100th anniversary of Disney. the only difference was that the show included Finding Nemo n The Incredibles. all n all, i'd rate it 8/10. that's considered good rite.

***

my elder sister came back dat week juz to watch Disney on Ice, but we even went to the movies. we watched Inside Man along wif my mum, n watched Lucky Number Slevin.both movies were absolutely best =b Inside Man was about a robbery n Lucky Number Slevin was about sum guy who wanted revenge for his parents death. i'd rate both movies 9/10.

***

i'd finish about rm38 to call adib 2 nites ago. time pass by so fast. we might be hanging out 2morrow night. i havn't seen Jue n Shikin for 2/3 months now. the last time we hung out was in january for Shikin's birthday. we're suppose to go out this saturday but we'll see how things go. Jue has sum house problem with her housemates. she gotta find sumwhere else to stay. feel sorry for her but i dun't think there's much dat i can do to help her.

***

my parents might be going for haji next yr. i remeber asking my mum if my dad was prepared, cuz let's face it, i noe him. they went to a haji course last sunday. so he's making sum effort. i gotta tell u this, last night, i head my dad trying to mengaji. i think he was reading iq'ra (i think that's it) cuz the words were short. i was about to watch tv at dat time. i heard his voice n i thot dat he was on the phone but dat wasn't possible cuz the house phone was outside his room n he has no hp. so when i listened carefully, i heard him. immediately, tears flow from my eyes. i was crying, well, more like sobbing. it makes me wonder how's it like for him to be there next yr. honestly, iwasn't really sure how wuz i feeling. wuz i sorry for him, sad for him, i dun't noe. but whut i do noe is dat it hurts. it hurts so bad i can't een describe it. i wrote sumthing after dat juz to calm down a bit n get it off my chest. maybe i'll post it later. after writing, i realised that i was crying more for me than for him. stuck2 tau dier baca, mcm he wuz doing his best. then lamer2 fikir gak lar, am i like dat? it's been awhile since i mengaji, i dunnoe if i still can. it felt like i was watching sumone helpless, but having the will to achieve. i really dun't noe. i felt guilty after dat, mcm bertaubat. but now, i didn't do anything to change. i juz feel stoopid n like i'm such an idiot not to realise who i am. i keep getting these hints, these signs n motivation but yet i did nothing. nothing. n now i'm starting to wonder, how can i live wif myself. this might not be as complicated as i made them. i guess those 2 accidents were a few of the signs. i noe i'm suppose to be grateful. i am. indeed. i jus hav sum difficulty of showing it. it doesn't take much actualy. 1 min in the bathroom for wuduk, 10 mins on the sejadah, to pray. repeat that 5 times a day n it'll only take about 1 hour of my 24 hours given in a day. n do i make an effort? no. whut kind a person am i?

:: it's been ages ::

i noe it's been ages since my last post. apologise. i'm currently in the comp lab trying to finish up my first assignment in this second sem. it's statistics and it sux. well, at least the lecturer sux. i juz don't get the way she teaches. i started my class on 20th feb and after 4 weeks of class, i'm having my first break, already. whut? going to college during my break? yup, juz cuz our microsoft office is not working (thanx to me) and i gotta finish this assignment today. the due date IS today b4 4, i guess. so here i am. doing my job, at least some of it. i figured i won't be blogging any other time, so i 've decided to do it today, now. for this sem, i'm taking 4 subjects. statistics, econs, IT and business comm. so far, so good. except for stats lecturer that is. hope i'll get good results this sem. better than last sem, i hope. *prays*

***

well, this yr, the commonwealth games is held in Melbourne Australia. my sister was supposed to go there but she canceled her trip. Malaysia is currently on the 8th spot. i watched nicol david played in the semi finals. she did well, but not well enuff. she'll be playing to determine the 3rd place. *fingers cross* so whut else is new? not much actually. i'm basically the same me as i've always been. making up plans, turning over a new leaf (for the umth time), still, nothing really happens.

***

my opah's house has been finish building. she's got a new house now. i'm so happy for her and my aunt. for the first time ever, she gets her own room. how lovely is that. it's samll but it'll do. i'll be super happy if i get my own room. i always have to share with my sis, being in the middle of my siblings. tho, i can't complain. at least i've got shelter. haha. well, the new house is quite smaller than the old one, but it's much better. it's brand new, tho there were some errors made. snget la, aper la. i'm planning to buy my opah n aunt a buaian for their house. saje jer. i'm not sure when, but i'll definitely buy one. i'm totally out of ideas here. i guess i'll go now b4 i write crap. so, it'll take sum time b4 u hear from me again. i hope this won't be the last time tho. no matter whut, i'll keep u up-to-date. see ya *hwuggs n kisses*

My Snoop Dogg

that's whut i call the guy i hav a crush on. his real name is rudy. to be honest, he's not the guy i'm usually attracted to. he's quite good looking, cute, but style wise, no comment. maybe it's becuz he's working. the 1st time i met him, i juz think he's cute, no crushes whut so ever. i didn't really had the chance to talk to him cuz he always seems bz. n when he's alone, i dun hav the courage to go up to him. weird. i dun hav butterflies tho. but i luv his smile. n those eyes juz make ya wanna melt xb he plays the guitar, so dat's good news. anyway, ever since i got back here, i can't stop thinking about him. sumtimes i'm not sure if i really like him, or i miss being in luv. jue noes about this. i asked her to help me out abit, see if he's interested. but then again, if he is, i'd doubt that 'we' would work out. u noe i can never survive long-distance relationship. i can't even say that i'll meet him once a yr. i got his hp num from botak. unfortunately, he doesn't hav his own hp n so he replies vary late which frustretes me. n juz now, he said he'll be quiting his job. how on earth will i get to see him then??

*** my heart hurts ***

Journey To The Past

i havn't posted anything for a super looong time. so here's an update. a quick one. i'm so not in the mood to type rite now.

***

first of, during the fasting seasons, i watched Gubra. Yasmin had a 2nd screening at the leo burnett building or sumthing like dat. so as normal, i lied to my parents dat i was going out wif my college frens.. so i hung out at klcc till 7+ and by 8, i wuz at the masjid jamek lrt station.. waited for a gurl name jaja n wif 2 other gurls, we walked to menara building. it wuz my 1st time there n it was so cool. i get to meet yasmin for the 1st time. i won't really say dat she inspire me, but i luv her movies. it's not the high class movie but when u think about it, it's worth much more. the actors in Gubra was superb. i luv nani. i think she's great. the poster for that film is out n i think it's cool. to most ppl, they might thing it's juz a picture. but yasmin is not dat sorta 'woman'. even the picture is in depth. it's about a gurl, finding it hard to let go of sumone she luv, when she's actually married. not really a spoiler here, cuz basically no one reads diz blog, but the movie has 2 seperate stories. not a single thing is related but both share the same theme. forgiveness. such an original movie. her up cuming movie is Mokhsen. can't hardly wait for dat.

***

during raya, we went to pd n serendah. my opah's house is under construction so she went to stay wif her sis in serendah. it was a nice raya. not dat busy. my sis had only 4days of raya to spend wif us, so it wuz a bit of a rush. we invited sum of our relatives for dinner. which wuz seperated into 2 cuz we wouldn't want such a big crowd. nuff said.

***

my finals r over. at least for the 1st sem. it totally sux. i juz hope my results will be fine, ie all pass. i'd hate it if i had to repeat the same subject. which i'll hav 2 wait for 1 yr.. how can i survive such a thing. results will be out mybe in 2 weeks time.. pray 4 me..

***

next is about my opah. she called me one monday n said she's having a stomachache. i told my mum n to keep things short, she was admitted to the hospital. there wuz sum stone in her bladder or sumthing. she stayed there (damansara speacialist hospital) for exactly 1 week. it cost about rm20000. bloody hell. that's why our family is reducing our spending. well, actually, tryin to. we later found out that she HAD cancer but it as remove. so i guess, she's recovered. my mum told her not to worry tho. but i bet she is. i am.

***

beleive it or not, i went to labuan for 6days 5nites. i won't say it was awesome but it was good. couldn't actually jln2 cuz we didn't hav the transport n basically my fren sleeps alot.. the only time we had fun wuz at nite. at her shop, n strawberry ( a karaoke bar ). we had fun tho, we played pool n she sang. i wasn't in the mood to sing in front of those ppl. well, i met new frens n guess whut, i had a crush on one of the workers there ( i'll tell u more bout it later). overall, i'll rate it 6/10. does dat sounds bad?